I've been sitting on this for a few days. Wasn't sure whether to share it, honestly.
But someone has to say it.
There's a creature in a field at the edge of a Slovenian forest with the most remarkable trick I've ever seen.
It takes, into its mouth, all the salad I personally cannot stomach. Grass, clover, dandelions, weeds, leaves I couldn't name if you offered me money. Chews through it slowly, calm as anything, like it has all the time in the world.
And then, somehow, it processes the entire green nightmare through four stomachs and converts it into ribeye.
Complete protein. Haem iron. B12. All the fat-soluble vitamins. No oxalates. No ingredients list. No fortification required.
I hesitated to post this because if word gets out, the fake meat startups collapse, the oat milk aisle empties by Friday, and half the wellness industry has to find a new product to flog by next Tuesday.
But I think the people deserve to know.
The salad problem has already been solved.
It's been solved for ten thousand years.
It's just been standing quietly in a field this whole time, waiting for someone to notice.