I make popular tweets the way some people make eye contact — briefly and without commitment. Host/Co-host of no podcasts. I’m probably doing the dishes. Poet.
Joined April 2009
- Tweets 28,461
- Following 733
- Followers 2,490
- Likes 10,858
7,014 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
18 Nov 2025
🧵 Perhaps my most important thread 🧵
And suddenly, we’re done. Completed. Met the goal we set out to meet.
No more negative tests and being poked to find out why.
No more wondering when.
No more wondering if. [1/7] 👇
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Sleep Deprived Nick retweeted
The Three Seven Bar is pleased to announce our Creed & Nickelback Karaoke Night on Father’s Day. We have picked the 25 best Creed and Nickelback songs. Sign up, you’ll be randomly assigned one and given as many beers as you can finish while on stage without missing a word.
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I grew up loving NASCAR. I’ve been trying to get back into it recently and the product itself is still so bad. Stages have got to be the dumbest idea in motorsports.
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Here’s a picture of me standing next to a picture of Amar'e Stoudemire in 2011. This is the only physical connection I have to the Knicks but I want to celebrate this win like it’s mine, too.
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First overnight with both kids. Toddler skipped his normal bedtime and then woke up at 1am completely wired. He wanted to see airplanes.
Anyway, It’s 3am and I’m at MSP. He’s having a great time.
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I’d love to know how many people think the United States just won the World Cup. I promise it’s more than you think.
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I don’t know where she’s going to find the money, but our 7 month old absolutely should be paying for this Maeze Coffee
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With zero kids, I had golfed probably 20 times by now.
With one kid, I had golfed probably 7 times by now.
With two kids, I have golfed zero times.
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Update on my @GopherHockey helmet situation: still nothing. Been at this for 22 years which means I’m really bad at it. If anyone has the keys to the equipment room at Mariucci, my DMs are open.
22 Jul 2024
I have wanted one of these darned @GopherHockey helmets since probably like 2004, and I still don’t own one. Make it make sense. How can I get my hands on one? Somebody I know has to have the power to make this happen 😂
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Got new wheels. Wife didn’t notice. Friends didn’t notice. Before and after for anyone who wants to be the first person in my life to acknowledge this.
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Alright, here we go.
My toddler’s current obsession is going up up up on an airplane. He asks to go flying multiple times per day.
So I might have to buy a plane off Facebook marketplace and figure it out.
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My toddler’s current obsession is going up up up on an airplane. He asks to go flying multiple times per day.
So I might have to buy a plane off Facebook marketplace and figure it out.
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Hobo meal, a fire, and the Stanley Cup final. What a night to be outside.
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We are no longer the people we married. I don’t even know who those people are. And they had no idea what was coming. How much the next five years would change the previous 30. How much searching there would be. How wrong they got their vows.
🧵 ⬇️
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And doing it again the next day.
My dear wife, you’re no longer the person I asked to marry, but I would ask you again every single day if I had to. I loved the you I met. I loved the you I married. I love the you that is here now. And I’ll love you tomorrow too.
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