the phrase "lipstick on a pig" has always inspired a deep sadness in me. I think of the pig, looking forward to her big night out, and I bring myself to the verge of tears.

May God release me from AI images of Nigel Farage on Question Time

every pub i walk past now has these vibrant cartoony posters all clearly drawn by the same artist, that person must be making some serious bank

Lots of Arsenal shirts going back on Vinted tomorrow

At least I was alive when the BBC interviewed me.

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

This era of ragebait fuckwittery in gaming is doing my head in.

サッカーゲームで予期せぬプレーwww

So many dogshit decisions that have tanked this stupid website but monetising blue tick ragebait slop has to be the absolute worst

Dennis Rodman would go party in Vegas, take enough cocaine to kill a bear, drink copious amounts of alcohol and them fly back to an nba finals game and lock up Karl Malone. This guy drinks a glass of wine and can't podcast for 3 days

There's always the Tweet, there's always the Tweet.

This is the greatest video I’ve ever seen. No notes. The lifeless clanker carcass just laying there. No crowd reaction, anything. Just Billie Jean. Until its lifeless shell is shamefully dragged off. Purely amazing.

When you go for a jog?

Looks like a minor peep show character

"This could be one of the most epochal days in British political history. Shall we see if the guy who microwaved his glasses is available?"

One of my favourite tweets of all time. The smug hubris that everyone but him could see, even then. Only a couple of weeks before Southport, too. It will be a perfect relic when the histories of this era are written.

I think I'm now at the stage of pitying him. The silence at the end - where it was obviously assumed there would be hearty applause - is so gloriously cringe-worthy.

This MFer really said 'dynamic whiteboarding sessions'

Yellow

He'll stay and plunge the country into chaos