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“𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐬-𝐤𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞...𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚!”
Independent Portrayal of Linda The Underling
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"I what?!"
The criminal immediately begins scrambling, trying to knock the spider off!
ㅤ
“ . . . You’ve got a spider on yer head. Thought you should know. ”
ㅤ
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Linda in any universe, being asked to be someone's underling after the Magic Incident. youtube.com/shorts/fQbaB8tof…
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Linda scrunches her nose. She hates this idea more than anything.
"Fine, uh...
I'll help you clean this place, or whatever... For like... A day.
But I ain't your servant, your maid, your underling, or your damn crewmate!
This is just me paying you back..."
⠀
❝Kill you.ᐣ I mean, sure, you pissed me off, but you aren't the type I'd say has earned being killed. Besides, I was mostly joking. I've been a slave myself, so I get it. But, really, what I mean is, you're gonna do some chores on this ship to pay me back.❞
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Linda's ear twitches. The dopey, aloof attitude disappears in an instant.
"Servant?"
She clenches her fists for a moment tightly enough to almost cut into her palms with her nails.
She opens her hands once more, sighing.
"I'd rather you kill me."
What the fuck is THAT tone--
⠀
❝After catching you stealing my money.ᐣ Yes. Yes I would.
Now let's talk about this debt. You're too broke to pay. So, being my servant would probably be your next option of loan apology.❞
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--shift?!
One look in her eyes shows that she's dead serious too.
"I'm never EVER going to work for someone else again."
A determination fills her eyes, to meet literally any other fate than to work for Nami. A modicum of pride previously unseen.
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"What're you lookin' at?"
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“Wait wait wait wait wait!”
She drops the bag, backpedaling! She holds her hand out fearfully!
“You don’t really want to fry me like an egg, right?! I’ll leave the bag!”
⠀
❝As someone who's been chased by a mob of zombies, I'll tell you that you do.❞
Her clima-tact snaps back into her hands at the movement.
❝You really don't learn, do you.ᐣ Maybe my next attack should knock you out cold. . . .❞
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“….I’m usually better than this! I just had to carry a heavier load today!”
She’s embarrassed. “And I do not have the skin tone of a zombie! Piss off!”
She huffs, finally standing up and attempting to grab her bag of goodies once more.
⠀
❝You're wearing a rat themed hoodie, medium length lime hair, and the skin tone of a zombie, and trust me, I'd know from experience, you stick out like a sore thumb.
You don't exactly scream, 'tactical espionage.'❞
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“I’m gonna be real, I didn’t think I was gonna be seen. I’m like… really good at the in-and-out unseen thing.
Believe it or not.”
⠀
❝You do realize we have thisr bounties for a reason, right.ᐣ Well, Usopp's weird luck aside with his, the entire crew is strong as hell. You couldn't have possibly thought this was a good idea.❞
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“The hell is a rubber man?” She follows with a long pause before laughing dryly.
“Of course I know he’s a rubber man! I know about the swordsman and Black Leg too!
I just never expected the navigator and ‘Cat Burglar’ would be Thor himself!”
She complains once again, digging—
⠀
❝Wow. You really did do this blind. I use weather sorcery. I can manipulate weather composition and utilize it for battle.
I'm called the Westher Witch for a reason. Next thing you'll tell me is that you didn't know our captain is a rubber man.❞
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—in her bag.
“Honestly. Most thieves don’t read books on their targets. How am I supposed to know?”
Pulling out a bottle of water, she carefully sits up before cracking it open and beginning to chug.
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💚Linda💚The Criminal Underling💚Villain Supreme💚 retweeted
Jun 15
With UFC at the White House happening, I'm gonna need a Wrestling Indie Fed to show the world the real American Spirit.
Give me a 3AM Wrestling Show in a Waffle House Parking Lot, thanks.
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//Y'all remember when Sony announced their partnership with Nintendo in the 90s, only for Nintendo to go out an hour later and announce they weren't partnering with Sony, and instead working with Philips?
I wonder how those events would've went in Gamindustri.
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//Imagine the first Lastation CPU (Before becoming a CPU at all) going up to the current Lowee CPU in a back alley and trying to scrap.
Getting their shit pushed in, mocked about how they will never be able to stand up to the best, and should settle for their scraps.
Only to--
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--start their own empire in response.
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💚Linda💚The Criminal Underling💚Villain Supreme💚 retweeted
Jun 14
a mouse baker who gives you an extra roll
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“I thought you all left!
Not my fault you stayed behind!”
She attempts to sit up, but ends up falling back into a laying position with a thump.
“Why the fuck are you The Mighty Thor?!”
⠀
❝So, what, you thought the rest of us were just weak.ᐣ That was pretty stupid.❞
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“Quit mocking me…” Twitch twitch.
“I can’t feel my ass.”
A loud whine escapes her.
“He’s not here! I made sure he wasn’t here! I should’ve been fine.”
Twitch. Twitch twitch.
⠀
❝You could at least do your homework first. Talk about a rookie theif. You do realize if our captain, Luffy, found out you were stealing our food, he'd probably knock you into an early grave, right.ᐣ❞
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“No matter how much you twirl it, you can’t beat me staff vs staff!” The criminal continues to misunderstand, until a cloud pops out.
“Huh…?”
Watching it glide gracefully over her head before…
KRAKOOOOM!!!
Lightning strikes her pipe and courses through her body. Head to—
⠀
Cue an annoyed sigh.
Why does it feel like she's talking to Usopp all of a sudden? The bravado that doesn't exactly scream real threat? Probably that.
↴
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—toes!
The rat flails and spasms in a circle, immediately dropping her bag and her pipe, before falling back on the deck.
“What the fuck???”
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