so many metaphors they’re practically metafives 🧍🏻♀️
Joined May 2009
- Tweets 17,728
- Following 7,103
- Followers 16,527
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2,393 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
21 Feb 2019
*something happens*
ANXIETY: Oh no, a reason to panic!
ME: No shh don’t worry about that, it doesn’t matter.
DEPRESSION: 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔.
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25 Oct 2025
no one is here anymore, which makes me proud of us :)
if any of my former tweeps see this, you can find me with the same @ on the 🦋 app.
✌🏼
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31 Dec 2024
went through a personal tragedy and was off twitter for awhile, just caught up a little…. and damn yeah I do not miss it here. tweeps, lmk if you recommend somewhere else to find you. otherwise ✌🏼
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30 Oct 2024
I LIVED IT: just called a friend to vent and she gave me tough love instead of agreeing with me
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Susie ✿ retweeted
5 Jul 2022
"A day in the Life of Sue Republican.
Sue gets up at 6 a.m. and fills her coffeepot with water to prepare her morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.
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30 Oct 2024
by age 35 you should have a note on your phone with hyperspecific dietary restrictions like
“no more than three of these or your tummy will hurt”
“this is the wine that gives you heartburn!”
“don’t bother saving takeout from here, it’s gross the next day”
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29 Oct 2024
when my friends with kids post their group halloween costumes: 🙄
when they send pics of 5 different carved pumpkins:
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29 Oct 2024
sorry I can’t come tonight I’ve been traumatized by giftwrapping videos that put the tape ON the gift itself goodbye
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Susie ✿ retweeted
28 Oct 2024
MLK’s daughter writes: A vote for Kamala Harris is not an endorsement of US funding for the war. It does not mean you are forsaking your right to protest her actions and policies. But she is the candidate who will protect our constitutional right to protest.
bit.ly/3A63v3d
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27 Oct 2024
am I romanticizing the past or did shows used to be better? I’m on a rewatching kick, everything from breaking bad to brooklyn 99, and I can’t help but feel it’s been awhile since I was this engrossed in anything
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27 Oct 2024
side note: I used to think skyler white was the most annoying character alive, but I was clearly brainwashed by watching with men. she is so strong and brilliant and underappreciated, everybody who claimed to hate her should be forced to re-watch 15 years later we were WRONG
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27 Oct 2024
also, currently watching a loved one go through chemo and I’m just gonna say it feels… *unlikely* that someone could become a druglord in that state with hardly more than the occasional coughing spell
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Susie ✿ retweeted
26 Oct 2024
if he’s funny absolutely
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24 Oct 2024
i thought, surely that’s an exaggeration. surely it was taken out of context.
once again foiled by my misplaced optimism about the state of the world
24 Oct 2024
Tucker Carlson’s vision of a Trump presidency is that “dad comes home” and says to America,
“You’ve been a bad girl. You’ve been a bad little girl and you’re getting a vigorous spanking, right now. … It’s going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me.”
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Susie ✿ retweeted
23 Oct 2024
the contrast couldn't big bigger:
-under harris, on average, the bottom 99% will see taxes go down while the top 1% will see taxes go up
-under trump, on average, the bottom 95% will see costs go up while the top 5% will see taxes go down
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23 Oct 2024
kinda think bears killed it with the hibernation idea. I don’t want to d!e permanently, just shut down for a lil while. system reset. everyone do me a quick favor and forget I exist for a hot sec
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23 Oct 2024
every few months there’s a post like this and everyone who’s ever worked in hotels has to do a big sigh and then bury themselves in a field
21 Oct 2024
4pm hotel check-in and 11am check-out is one of the biggest scam in our society 🤷🏽♂️😂
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Susie ✿ retweeted
18 Oct 2024
A Musk-funded Super PAC is showing the ad on the left to Muslims and the ad on the right to Jews, according to this report: 404media.co/this-is-exactly-… So great that Twitter is owned by someone who values truth and honesty.
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Susie ✿ retweeted
18 Oct 2024
Blood poison, vermin, the 'enemy within': The language of the the 1930s has not been used successfully in modern American politics. But maybe that's because no one, before now, has tried
theatlantic.com/politics/arc…
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