Met a woman at a bar in Amsterdam last night
"Let's go to my place" she whispered
We went to her apartment
She started kissing me and unzipping my pants
I stopped her
"We need to complete the documentation first. Where do you keep your consent forms?"
"What?"
"Oh, don't worry. I always carry my copies"
I pulled out the forms from my man purse
Form A: General contact, kissing and penetration
Form B: Oral activities - Section 1 (giving), Section 2 (receiving)
Form C: Intercourse consent, subsections for positions
"Why is there an entire separate form just for anal sex?"
"Different risk category, needs separate insurance documentation" I said
"Get the fuck out of my apartment, you loser"
Honestly I dodged a bullet
A woman who refuses basic legal documentation?
Probably sleeping around and has STDs she's not disclosing