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The ParentNormal @ParentNormal

Chris Cate, dad of 3. Coming Soon…. barnesandnoble.com/s/"Chri…

Joined May 2011
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The ParentNormal@ParentNormal
26 Feb 2018
Never get comfortable.
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Say hello if you're at the Mom 2.0 Summit today in Nashville! It's one of the best parenting conferences in America. I'll be speaking from 2-3:30pm about how I've gone from making memes to publishing 28 books through my @wordplaygroundhog indie publishing business. #mom2summit
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What age do kids learn to entertain themselves?? 😩😂
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Neighbors: (Boom, Boom, Blast) I could do fireworks all night! This is the best! Parents: The kids are gonna be awake all night. This is the worst!
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Happy Independence Day! I'll be celebrating with kids who dictate everything I do or even think of doing.
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You can search the entire internet faster than a kid can search their room for a pair of shoes in the middle of their room.
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If you think texting and driving is dangerous, you don’t want to know how dangerous it is to be parenting and driving.
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Threenagers talk like everything they say is a "reply all" message to everybody in the room with them.
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The only thing kids hate more than getting in a bath is getting out of a bath.
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It's impossible to pick up after kids. Seriously. You can’t pick up after people who never pick up anything the first time.
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A toddler's arch nemesis is a closed door.
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Kids do follow the five-second rule. It’s just that they believe five seconds is a VERY long time.
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Toddlers always go the extra mile... when they are running away from you in a public place.
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Toddlers dance the same way they cry: without inhibition.
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Never throw away empty toilet paper rolls. That's wasting completely good telescopes. - Kids
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Kids can hear the opening of a pantry or refrigerator from 250 miles away.
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Toddlers are great at whispering if whispering means talking as quietly as they shout.
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A consequence of having kids is always having rotten bananas too. There is no way to buy the right amount of bananas for kids.
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Booster seats are excellent for helping toddlers who aren’t quite tall enough to crawl onto the kitchen table.
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You will always know if your kid was playing in a sandbox because the sandbox will fall out of their shoes as soon as they take them off.
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When a toddler has a crumby day, it’s been a great day for them.
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