Joined February 2014
- Tweets 132
- Following 150
- Followers 81
- Likes 819
4 Photos and videos
Peter Baye retweeted
This is the most amazing dad shit I’ve ever seen. Dude let the baby go, caught the ball, recovered the baby mid air, only spilled a drop of beer and the baby didn’t drop the bottle.
Legendary!
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Peter Baye retweeted
14 Oct 2020
🎶 Father of mine...tell me where have you been? You know I just close my eyes, the whole word disappears🎶
30 Sep 2020
If you're not turning your hot dogs into curly fries, you're doing it wrong.
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14 Oct 2020
4 yr old daughter this morning...
“I’m pretty good at drawing dresses. (Proceeds to draw) Learn from me... if you want.”
#4yrconfidence
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28 Apr 2020
As if not knowing what day it is isn’t enough. I just finished two tubs of cottage cheese in three days because I got confused on the month. I thought it was expiring. Turns out, I had 25 more days. #braindead
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12 Nov 2019
Just realized that my lifelong grudge against @jimrome all has to do with the ribbing he gave MJ on Space Jam. Sorry, Jim.
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2 Jul 2019
I go into the kids dark room to get them new night time waters.
Benton (in a gentle voice): Is the sun still out?
Me: yes
Benton: (still in sleepy voice) then guns out 💪🏿
#ProudDad
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27 Feb 2019
Awesome show of love for a great kid. Well done, Russell 👍🏼
27 Feb 2019
Our kids excited to welcome back a fellow student. #bekind @mps_russell @MillardPS #WeAreRMS @JenMCallahan @haugsr
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11 Dec 2018
I love the current trend in haircuts... adopt any terrible hairstyles from the last 30 years and it’s in!
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15 Aug 2018
Love love love the nod at the end... “took care of it”.
15 Aug 2018
Rough night for Fox Sports security guard on the set in Atlanta last night (H/T @bustedcoverage)
Peter Baye retweeted
2 Aug 2018
The dress shirt brand @MizzenAndMain is buying its first ever TV commercial today (on the Golf Channel) and its spot with spokesman Phil Mickelson will at least get people talking
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10 Jul 2018
My two nephews left to their home in Florida and I asked my son if he’s sad to see them go. He said, “no cuz I’ll see them again in heaven.” Heart touching and foreboding at the same time. #kidknowledge
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10 Jun 2018
My four year old and two year old have recently learned the repeat game where they repeat everything I say, which has led me to wonder... why would anyone in their god forsaken mind chose to own a parrot?!? #perplexingpirate
5 Jun 2018
Got both kids in their beds by 8:30. They are only allowed to come out if they have to use the bathroom.
Over the next half hour... 2 peepees and 4 poopies... that’s right. Between 2 kids!! #dadlife
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30 Jan 2018
After my one yr old daughter prepared an imaginary ketchup, mustard, and mayo suicide she took a drink and said, “hmm... needs some syrup.” That’s my girl!! #concoctions
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15 Jun 2015
I wish I could get the written transcripts of Mark Jackson's precommercial rants. #MarkJacksonprecommercialrants