NBAHausen @DanhausenAD

Some things I'd rather do than watch soccer: - Drink decaf coffee - Eat well done steak - Watch the WNBA - Pour hot sauce in my eyes - Get stuck in an elevator with a gassy Eric Swalwell - Change Jerry Nadler's diapers for eternity Feel free to add to the list

I never looked at Wayne Brady the same after this😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Aaron Rodgers showing up to Steelers Training Camp for year 22

The proper way to deal with vegan bacon! 🤣💀

Hair approved by @RickGrabowski

1980: “Bro, in the future we’ll have flying cars!” 2026: “Bro, look! I can walk around while jerking off with my VR goggles!”

Mike Vrabel doing interviews next season

Need @RickGrabowski to chime in

DiAnal Russini’s Husband and Mike Vrabel’s wife talking to their divorce attorneys

Her: you must be a dude dressed as a mountain lion on a ladder on top of another ladder hitting backwards halfcourt shots if you think we’re fuckin Me:

Just left the casino and placed a bet for Brendan Sorsby to win the Heisman. I saw him in there making the same bet. #FreeSorsby

What the Oilers needed tonight

When Mom says the pizza rolls are done

Dianna Russini be like: “No honey, i named him mike after my grandfather’s ex-best friend’s roommate. Stop being paranoid”

Georgia players arriving to the NFL Draft

There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO PAY TAXES $500 BILLION or 10% of the national budget allowed to be stolen and ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY I explain

Whoever just yelled “give me back my son” in a Mel Gibson voice during Rory’s tee shot on 17 should get a green jacket

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits... When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.