If you want to get to know me, take a stroll down my account. It’s all laid out there. The good, the bad, the ugly. I basically wear my heart on my sleeve. If it doesn’t coalesce for you, then I’m not your people. But if I am, do stop by and say hello. ✨💖✨

Sometimes we enter relationships that propel us into a level of healing that we’ve avoided for far too long. A level of healing that has the potential to break us, and maybe that’s the point. To be broken to such a degree that the Kintsugi of our reconstruction becomes a work of art for the whole world to see. To have the gold that’s woven like a thread into the broken pieces expose the shame of regret for not loving ourselves at the level of divinity we are called to love. This is where the rubber meets the road in “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Because I cannot love another authentically until I love myself fully. Jesus was sending the message of inner healing and authentic self-love. “To thine own self be true” walks a fine line. The world teaches us the exact opposite. Give until you are depleted, then cowboy up and give some more. That somehow sacrificing yourself to depletion is some noble act. That loving yourself is selfish and haughty and self-serving. You can pretend to love yourself as long as it’s inauthentic. That’s allowed. All the while you are giving up your power to a system designed to drain your soul of the very divine life force given to you by the Creator. The airlines instruct us to put our own oxygen mask on first before we try to help anyone else. Emergency medical technicians are trained to make sure the environment is safe for them before entering a space to take care of the injured. And it makes sense because you’re of no help if you’ve passed out from lack of oxygen or are laying on the ground bleeding out from a gunshot wound. Yet we are taught to self-sacrifice in unhealthy ways and never taught to honor ourselves. We are never taught how to step into our sovereignty. We’re left to figure it out on our own in the midst of our healing. And I don’t know about you, but the spiritual community is more confusing than ever. It’s as though the pendulum has swung the other way. Relationship gurus flood the spaces with “Do this, not that,” and “Say this, not that,” as though every person were identical. As though every relationship did not carry its own unique fingerprint in this universe. As though there is no natural intuitive ebb and flow. As though two people have to be each fully healed to enter into partnership. I exaggerate, but the theme is pretty close. What if we carried an attitude of “Show me how good today gets”? What if we expected our partner to grow as we grow, developing capacity intuitively, in unconditional love that doesn’t self-sacrifice in the toxic way the world teaches? What if, as we each heal as sovereign individuals, we had someone who holds our hand when we’re standing out in the rain, in the storm? To be the energetic first aid because they’ve put their oxygen mask on first. What if we did that and held onto our authentic self-love and sovereignty? To help someone we love rebuild, rewrite their story into a beautiful piece of artwork, and to stand with them as they clean up the mess of their creation. This is partnership, yes? Not perfect. Present. I think life is too complex and too short to put living it in a box for comfort and convenience; to narrow it down to 350 pages of instruction. I think this is why we’ve all been given intuition, spirit guides/guardian angels, and a soul with an incalculable capacity for love. It’s our job to figure out our healing for ourselves, not what someone else thinks we should do. I think that it’s in the process of figuring it out, no matter how messy it gets, that we heal ourselves. So don’t mind the mess of the gold that gets spilled as I work on my Kintsugi. Just enjoy the beauty of the gold as it is. ✨🌹✨

1000% ✨🌹✨

Those were the days. ✨😊✨

Giving someone permission to disengage is priceless sometimes. Silence can be the greatest kindness they’ve had all day. ✨🌹✨

I dissolve. I take my hard edges and breathe into them all of the vibratory signatures that have no label. And they begin to soften, to yield. And my capacity for love expands. I become the water. I flow. I cleanse. I quench. I am the formless form. I am the thing that cannot be held. Like the waterfall I am tumult and I am stillness at the same time. There is only one riverbank that can contain me. Only one shore. And I surrender to it. Because I am the raging river, the gentle stream, the vast and deep ocean, and the powerful tide that calls without ceasing. I am the rain that refreshes and I am the hurricane that destroys. And I ebb and flow only within the shore made for me. I dissolve. As the brilliant essence of that eternal sun touches me, I dissolve. I become light as air and begin to fly. One touch and pieces of me take flight. I am undone. Dissolved into a new being. All of my other forms capitulate to the one whose touch is fire and I surrender. I will make art in the sky. I will billow and drift in ecstasy until the rest of me catches up and I will dissolve again. Back to the beginning. Back to the remembering. Back to me. ✨🌹✨

Today’s what I call a trench day. When I can feel my shadows calling me into the Mariana Trench of my depths. They’re asking for recognition, validation, love. They want to become part of my light. Grief is ready to make way for Joy’s return, admiring each other as they cross paths in the ascension. Tears flow freely. I don’t want to do the work. My soul is tired. So tired. As I sat with Surrender, allowing the process to begin, I had a vision. I was literally calling out to a loved one and asking for relief, remembering how long I’ve held on to life by my fingernails and how tired I am. The vision hit me as soon as the words were out of my mouth — just let go. Truly surrender. Let go and just fall. I could see myself letting go of a cliff edge and falling. It was glorious. The peace that washed over me was indescribable. I was almost free floating as I fell. The tears instantly dried up. I heard “It’s much less painful to let go than to hold on.” Sometimes we aren’t conscious of just how tightly we are holding on to things in our life. It becomes like an autopilot kind of thing over time and it slowly siphons our spirit’s essence until we’re drained and not sure why. My guides have been drilling down on me about Rest, Surrender, and Trust. For weeks. I think they knew it would take a trench day when I was not at capacity for the message to really land. It’s time to level up in the Gratitude Game, get back on my unicorn and ride. This is how the life I choose is created. I get to do that. So no more holding on to what no longer serves me. I’m gonna enjoy some free falling and let Surrender fly the plane. Because if trusting Surrender brings this kind of rest, then I’m all about it. I’ll have seconds please. ✨🌹✨

I choose to live my life from a different perspective, a higher perspective. Most live in fear without ever realizing that’s what they’re doing. I used to be that person. It makes me think of the scripture in 1 John 4:18 that talks about perfect love casts out all fear. In some translations, fear is worded as torment. How true. Smith’s Literal Translation states “Fear is not in love; but perfected love casts out fear: for fear has restraint. And he fearing has not been perfected in love.” I choose to be perfected. Perfected by the divine love of the Creator that fear cannot be in the presence of. I think this is the missing piece to our peace. To live bold and free without reservation knowing that every breath I draw on is lit with the love I was sent here with. It must be a conscious act, a discipline, as I walk the path to that perfection, keeping myself free from torment, denying its attempt to coerce me to align with it. Staying focused on what’s there — divine love deep within, that soft spark, that quiet ember. The presence of Source in my soul, my spirit, my very body itself. There’s a spirit of fear (consciousness) and the feeling (emotion) of fear. Learning to discern the difference is key. That’s not to say that the feeling of fear won’t rear its head, usually at the most inopportune times. It’s about staying focused and allowing those moments to remind me to just observe it and tune in to the message it brings so that I can choose to realign with my path, sending the spirit of fear fleeing. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7. I think belaboring the feeling of fear invites the spirit of fear to have a place in our presence. Did you know that there are 365 scriptures that speak to “Do not fear”? One for each day of the year. That sends a pretty clear message. Now I’m not one to tout religious words, but sometimes the messages come in the most unexpected places. We have been given the power in the perfected ember of divine love within us to choose that love over a spirit of fear. We must develop the self-control, the discipline to choose wisely. Remember, you chose this life before you came here — for the lessons learned and the growth you’ll experience. Earth is a school that we enrolled in for a purpose. Every morsel of learning is for our highest and best. Learning how to cultivate a presence filled with the divine love of the Creator is the very essence of a bold and free life of peace that surpasses all understanding. And I’ll have a piece of that please. ✨🌹✨

We are all on a path. A path to our becoming. It’s a path that stretches out for our whole lives. How we travel that path is the story of this life and who we are. The story of the impact we have in this world as our becoming unfolds. The story of our greatest accomplishments realized in the midst of our worst fears. The story of our seemingly erroneous side-quests in this life and the beauty that can come from the pain that we endure in them. We’ve been given an array of emotions for a reason. They all serve a purpose. None are good or bad. They are simply energy in motion, tools to experience this existence. This is the path that leads to our return to the Oneness. A story in the making scripted before time began, to test the power of the love placed within us as a travel pouch of sustenance for the journey. We come here as a time traveler, a fractal of Source, script in hand, ready to sieze the day. And then we realize we’ve forgotten everything — our lines, the story plot, how to navigate the stage with grace and ease, all of it. The only thing we have is an ember of love glowing within us. An amnesiac soul that only knows how to love, and we’ve landed somewhere that will beat the love out of us if we let it. This world will do everything possible to distort and destroy the love we come here with. It’s the ultimate test of the indestructible nature of the divinity within us. We will spend our whole lives here either choosing to remember the power we possess or succumbing to the perversion of it. Both are real. Both are true. This place is a duality after all and we each have a part to play. I’m grateful that my path is a path of remembering. That every step I take brings me closer to Source and remembering the Oneness. I’m grateful that there are no missteps. Everything I think is a “wrong turn” in my life simply becomes divine redirection. “Recalculating.” All is redeemed by the Creator when we choose to remember. Obstacles become stepping stones and wrong turns become glorious adventures. And I begin to remember the script. Remembering your story is not for the faint of heart. It requires the kind of bravery that makes you remove all of your armor and stand in nothing but the love you were sent here with. Naked and unsure, yet resolute. Choosing to step into your becoming. Becoming all that you were created to be and marveling in the process. This is this life. The glorious journey back to the beautiful Oneness we came from. ✨🌹✨

If love was water, most of us would die of thirst standing in the rain. — unknown

My guides have been talking to me about “in love” vs “I love.” One is an act, a doing. The other is a presence, a state of being. To be “in love” in its fullness and purity is to choose to surrender to the sacred essence of love itself. To immerse yourself in it and become one with it so much so that you radiate with the energy of its divine nature. So when we say that we are in love with someone, if we are standing in our sacred truth, then we are saying that we have chosen to merge our essence of love with theirs. That we recognize the Creator within them is the same as within us. We unite our energies to create a third energy that, when pure, expresses a fractal of the love of the Creator to the world. We become creators ourselves and birth a new thing. Of course, historically, the words have been used irresponsibly, and that has perverted the true meaning of them. Just like so many other meanings have been perverted in this world. And yet we live and learn. My guides once told me I was here to take inverted truths and flip them back upright once again for all to see. I think being “in love” is one of them. Jesus spoke about this love, said that God is love. Oh to be in that love. To exist in the essence of that state. Divine. Maybe for some, it takes the intimacy with another soul to reconnect with the intimacy of the Creator; that sacred relationship that defies language. Only spirit speaks it. To rest and surrender, to marinate in the love within you that is so authentic and pure that it redefines your becoming. To join with another soul to exchange this sacred energy between you in remembrance of what the Creator does with us. They say that love conquers all, yet what that really means is not defined. Because if the world understood the depths of its meaning, it would surely be another world entirely.

Did I miss the memo to start pronouncing the T in “softening?” I have heard half a dozen people today say it with a hard T. Do you pronounce the T in “softening?” ✨🤔✨

Been thinking about this very thing the last few days. ✨😂💀✨

It’s all about the becoming…✨🌹✨

I am the abyss. I am a leviathan. I am that ocean soul with depths greater than the Mariana Trench. Even I haven’t remembered the fullness of my depths. It’s as though Source is holding me back until such a time that I can withstand the implications of this revelation. Withstand the implications of not being ready to walk in these depths and the power that they hold. Withstand the implications of hiding in the shallows, reining in the creative forces entrenched in my soul, refusing to dive into the depths of them. At what cost have I lived in fear of my own soul? A soul created on purpose for greater things. And yet, regret serves no real purpose, does it? The past is gone; it’s not real anymore. The only real is the present moment. So, is grabbing the present moment and holding on the lesson? To learn to live in the present moment with immeasurable depth…is that the majick sauce? To be able to thrive in the ever increasing pressure that comes with oceanic depths; to make beautiful wine from the wine press of this life knowing that it’s a process and process takes time. To allow myself to be crushed to release what’s inside that will not come out without it, and to be grateful for the crushing. Maybe it’s all about gratitude. Authentic gratitude fully felt, fully experienced in the present moment. Can I learn to exist in a state of persistent authentic gratitude no matter what the present moment looks like, no matter how painful the crushing? To find and exist in a perpetual state of gratitude in every single moment seeing that the pain in the crushing is merely a small price paid for the glorious wine created. And what are the implications of that perspective on the meaning that I assign to the present moment; the reality that I create? To learn how to be grateful for the abyss, the leviathan depths and power that I’ve yet to remember; yet to understand. Redemption is everywhere if you are willing to look for it. It’s built in to everything. Truly. Even the abyss. Especially the abyss. I choose to use my eyes to see, my heart to feel fully, my soul to experience the mission completely. I choose authenticity in my gratitude knowing it will disturb and provoke others. And maybe that’s the whole point; to be the mirror that you don’t want to look at but cannot turn away from. To be the mirror I don’t want to look at, yet cannot close my eyes to. To see, truly see, and find authentic gratitude in the seeing. ✨🌹✨

I live for sass. ✨🔥✨

The shadow work I’ve experienced has had a singular goal in mind — integration. The journey to individuation is not necessarily linear. My guides showed me that it was actually a spiral, a vortex; that we revisit shadows that we’ve already worked on as we ascend the vortex. Revisiting them isn’t for us to do the same work over again, but to do more advanced work—deeper work to integrate the shadow at a deeper level using the tools we acquired at the lower levels of the vortex. If we neglect to nurture the integration work we’ve already done, it’s that much harder to honor the shadow when it resurfaces at a deeper level (ask me how I know ✨🤦🏼‍♀️✨). It’s like when someone trusts you with a small secret. When you prove that you can honor it, they know that they come back around and trust you with bigger secrets. It’s something that’s built upon. And it’s the same with shadow work. When you prove to your inner self that you can be trusted with the smaller integrations, then the shadow will come back around at a deeper level for a bigger integration into your light. I believe that for most of us, this is a lifelong process. I’m so grateful to have learned this work; so grateful for my guides who gently walked me through its genesis in my life, and continue to teach me at every level. And I’m so grateful for the difficult path I’ve walked that led me to even begin in the first place. Life can be hard. It’s what we decide to make out of the pile of shit ingredients we’ve been given that matters. A reader on TikTok said the most profound thing once — “You had to feel the loss in order to receive the gain.” I couldn’t agree more. Let your mess cook. Feel it, experience it, thank it, and then cook the best damn meal you’ve ever had. It will change your life in the best way. ✨🌹✨