Joined November 2025
- Tweets 5,764
- Following 105
- Followers 224
- Likes 2,933
602 Photos and videos
Every dystopian novel underestimated the number of subscriptions.
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I refuse to believe the food pyramid was wrong. I spent too many years training for that meta.
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Polyphonic Pirate retweeted
Jun 12
The older I get, the less impressed I am with both myself and everyone else.
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Jun 11
The fastest way to identify who has never managed anything is to listen to how easy they think it would be to manage millions of people.
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Nostalgia is remembering the feeling and forgetting the inconvenience.
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Corporate culture is often just compensation trying to cosplay as meaning.
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The modern economy is mostly people charging each other convenience fees to avoid minor inconveniences.
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The human body is surprisingly durable.
It is also surprisingly good at keeping score.
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A lot of people confuse self-improvement with self-disgust and never notice the difference.
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May 30
X is weird because it’s social media but no one ever sees or reads anything you post unless you have 100k followers
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May 26
Disney adults and hardcore sports fans are spiritually much closer than either side wants to admit
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May 26
Cruise ships feel like someone scaled a Holiday Inn to the size of a small nation and filled it with soft serve ice cream and gambling.
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May 21
Every tech company eventually evolves into a spreadsheet wearing a hoodie
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May 20
Modern life is paying three convenience fees to avoid a minor inconvenience and then listening to a podcast about financial discipline on the drive home.
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Polyphonic Pirate retweeted
May 19
The optimization guys always make being alive sound like maintaining a commercial nuclear reactor
At this point I expect someone to tell me my mitochondria crave artisanal lithium
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Polyphonic Pirate retweeted
May 19
Social media has fully recreated medieval medicine except now the village idiot has a ring light.
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May 19
Nostalgia is just selective memory editing.
You remember the feeling. Not the late fees, the boredom, the cigarette smoke, the dead malls, or the fact everybody you loved was still alive.
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