I just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "chocolate, cookies, crap like that", so aparently my soul mate is still out there.

Some days, I can conquer the world. Other days, it takes me three hours to convince myself to shower.

Follow your heart... but please take your brain with you. It's necessary!

Me: Should I buy it? Brain: No!! Wallet: No!! Parents: No!! Cat: Meow NO!! Dog: Woof NO!! Universe: NO!! Me: Sold.

Studies have finally discovered what is wrong with my MS brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left!

Multiple sclerosis grief is real. It's okay if you go through the five stages of grief again and again on repeat - denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. You've lost your health, and it's normal to be devastated by that.

I will always be here for you. Unless I need a nap. Then I will be in my bed over there for you.

20 Things I LOVE about Multiple Sclerosis 1. Vertigo - I get to pretend that I am on a Trans-Atlantic sea cruise every day... plus I like wearing Hawaiian shirts. 2. Disabling Fatigue - I get to take naps and snuggle with my pillow. 3. Insomnia – I get to catch up on all the reruns of the shows I missed while taking my naps... life can stick me with a crippling disease but I won't miss a thing. 4. Heat Intolerance - I get to drink all the Chocolate Ice Cream Shakes I want. 5. Nausea and Vomiting - I can drink all the Chocolate Ice Cream Shakes I want with no weight gain. 6. Delayed Verbal Processing – Nothing stops me from putting my foot in my mouth faster than being unable to think of what I was just about to say... several times in a row. 7. Cognitive Dysfunction - When I put my cell phone in the refrigerator, my car keys in the microwave, and the milk in the dishwasher I am always pleasantly surprised when I find them. 8. Short-term Memory Loss - I get to walk into the same room over and over several times until I remember why I went in there to begin with... it is a great excuse to just go make another Chocolate Ice Cream Shake. 9. Speech Ataxia - I never know what funky new words I may create when I talk. I believe this is how "jive talk" started. 10. Paraesthesia - It reminds me of when I was 10 years old at summer camp when I stuffed my socks full of Pop Rocks on a dare. 11. Footdrop - It makes it really easy to plant even rows of seeds in my garden. 12. Diplopia - Getting to see my Chocolate Ice Cream Shake twice at the same time is awesome. 13. Optic Neuritis - The ugly people on my High Def TV are finally blurry! Woo Hoo!!!! 14. Dysmetria – I get to figure out brand new innovative ways to do simple things like cutting vegetables or frying bacon... or putting on pants while frying bacon. 15. Muscle Paresis - I will no longer feel obligated to help friends if they ever need to move a couch up a flight of stairs or bury a body in the backyard. 16. Muscle Spasticity - Gym membership? Ha! Look at these quads! 17. Bladder Spasticity - I will always know where all the rest rooms are located. 18. Dystonia - I was never a fan of typing words correctly anyway... just ask Siri on my iPhone. 19. Clumsiness – I used to just be good to look at but now I am much more fun to watch. 20. I am stuck in a motorized wheel chair – I have another reason to keep working on designing the first ever “low-rider” turbo charged Rascal Scooter for street racing with death ray for use for the idiots who park in handicapped spots.

Fact: zoning out is your brain's way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”

You know that feeling you get when you're stuck in traffic on a bridge as it sways back and forth, and up and down...that's how I feel today.

I would call my fashion style: “Clothes comfortable enough to sleep in.”

One day I know I'm going to find hidden cameras in my house and have to try and explain why I do all these random karate kicks directed at no one.

Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.

Experts say that in the future, cell phones will likely be tiny computer chips implanted in our brains. Great, now I have to worry about leaving my brain in the couch.

Try laughing more. I believe that if people can get more laughter in their lives, they are a lot better off. It won't fix anything, but will definitely make the trip more enjoyable.

There gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers all the words to Gilligan's Island Theme Song.

Where do I purchase one of those filters that goes between my brain & my mouth?

My brain is giving me the silent treatment.

The recipe said to stir ingredients, pour in pie shell, and chill. I wonder if I should refrigerate the pie while I'm chillin'?

I don't know what's longer: a microwave minute or a treadmill minute...