A Canadian. A sensitive mouthpiece. A clever dumbass. An ally always.
Joined November 2020
- Tweets 23,958
- Following 3,875
- Followers 23,716
- Likes 99,566
5,154 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
10 Jan 2024
Eating my banana like it’s corn so I don’t get called to HR.
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Diana retweeted
8h
Hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive through the roof.
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Forget a personal trainer or chef, I need someone to walk around with me and remind me to fix my face when someone says something dumb.
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For anyone clinging to the belief that men showing emotion and being vulnerable shouldn’t be a thing - besides it being healthy and something you should absolutely do - it’s also sexy as hell.
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Diana retweeted
Jun 15
my ideal relationship is just two weird people taking turns being fascinated by each other
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Jun 15
Who misses their own mouth when taking a drink?
Me. I do.
And now my left boob smells like coffee.
*sigh*
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Jun 15
It’s going to be an unusual week at work, but I’m here for it. I’m all about the unusual.
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Jun 12
Waiting on the guys to finish their Friday morning meeting so I can get a bunch of them on the road.
Whatever you’re doing today, just do your best.
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Jun 11
“Can someone please come and be tall for me?”
- my number one ask every day in the warehouse
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Diana retweeted
Jun 10
hot girls have weird sleep schedules and ancient grudges
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Jun 10
It’s so muggy that even inside the hair is in full frizz mode.
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Jun 9
It’s annoying to get so mad you cry.
Like, I’m not sad, I’m just so pissed off that the only way I can avoid a coronary is if I let the liquid rage leak from my eyes.
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Jun 9
I pat the right side of my ass about 50 times a day, checking that my phone is in my pocket, and half the time it’s in my other hand.
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Jun 8
Closer to 50 than 40 now, and I still feel like I’m 30 most of the time, but today I’m 46.
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Jun 7
I stepped aside in the grocery store for a man to pass, and he said, “Well aren’t you just lovely,” as he passed. Since he was staring directly at my tits when he said it, I can only assume he was addressing them.
So…ew, and also, dude, right??
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Jun 7
The power a backward hat has on me is almost embarrassing.
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Jun 6
As of today my new weight for reps with the leg press is 430lbs and I don’t care what you think, I am delighted.
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Jun 6
The amount of grown men who have visible earwax and several obnoxiously long eyebrow hairs is shocking.
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