Bad jokes and disappointment
Joined March 2009
- Tweets 40,294
- Following 330
- Followers 597
- Likes 19,864
4,935 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
11 Dec 2022
Watching Even Stevens while plugging Molly. Call that Shia LaBoof.
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Jun 10
Zero engagement won't stop me from tweeting.
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Joan Cusack is the Toni Collette of Judy Greers
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Jun 9
boyfriend called... DECLINE! busy whore! busy with my TWITTER
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Jun 9
If they put me on love island I’d start eating people
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Jun 6
let’s swap roles: you wait and i don’t come back
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Been very emotionally even-keeled for the past month even with the beating I’ve put every inch of my body through. But 12 hours with a mid white man and I’m ready to spiral. Wouldn’t change a thing 🤡
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Jun 5
some of yalls parents are genuinely evil idk how u didn't turn out murderers
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Jun 3
when my pup friends talk about pup stuff i feel like a deeply christian mother struggling to support her gay son
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Down so bad that I’m letting him show me Linux tutorials on YouTube. 🤡🤡🤡
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Happy Pride month to every boy who made their mom say “can I get the girl toy” when ordering a Happy Meal in the McDonald’s drive-thru.
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Humpty Dumpty to gravity:
Yall crack me up
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May 31
Having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like I can’t be saved
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May 30
Having sex is not gone heal no heartbreak. DRUGS......you gotta do drugs bby😭😂
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May 28
my body is a temple but thursday-sunday it’s the second tower
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May 28
May 26
Me dj-ing a bris: *plays the Yeah Yeah Yeahs*
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