When a nurse brings you a unsolicited cuppa and a coupla chocolate bourbons, it makes you believe in humanity a million times more than hearing any medical manager or strategist speak. It’s that magic that’s being drained from the NHS by treating staff in a bollocks way.

When I assess someone I feel like I can work out on the first 10 minutes whether I can help them, based on the systems I work in. Isn’t that so sad.

You know when you discuss things at the MDT and they just aren’t actioned week to week, but everyone doesn’t say anything because we are all secretly complicit in bed blocking. Oh no we aren’t! That’s just what the site visit pricks said.

Does everyone have a special pen they use for work? Special poo-toilet? Special computer they like to use?

You know what I love? Being called as the reg on call about something managerial, by a manager. If we got paid pro-rata for each problem “hot-potatoed” to us from them, we might find out on-calls a bit more manageable.

I love that not a week goes by without seeing a fresh human turd in psychiatry. Not. A. Week. Love this specially. 💩

I love it when people ring you with a problem and every solution you offer they have a reason why it can’t happen that they are starting to say before you’ve finished suggesting it. Especially when not a single part of it is medical.