just your run of the mill sarcastic ass, music loving, sports watching, gym going, foul-mouthed ray of fucking βοΈ
Joined August 2013
- Tweets 7,937
- Following 2,032
- Followers 3,783
- Likes 41,656
1,265 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
1 Jul 2024
I think 38 is my new favorite number. Fucking tough, but it will always be the year I became unapologetically myself. π€
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Staring at tiny numbers on a printed spreadsheet all day makes me wish I was a trophy wife. π΅βπ«π΅βπ«π΅βπ«
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I donβt know if yβall can tell, but Iβve just come back from the brink. The walking petri dishes in my house brought home something that tried to take my ass all the way out for three daysβ¦ over a weekend too. π€§π€π·π€’
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Drama parent problems. Had to drop the big kid off at 7 this morning, she likely wonβt finish up until 8 tonightβ¦ and today is show day 1 of 2. π΅βπ« I need something stronger than coffee but less illegal than cocaine.
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Help. IT has been in here for an hour trying to βfixβ my printer. Send coffee and patience.
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Sometimes itβs the little thingsβ¦ like a comfy new cross-cross applesauce chair for your office.
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40 is the new 30 and Iβll not be entertaining arguments otherwise, thank you.
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I did it! No more store-bought bread at my house. π
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Hurry up, 5:00. I wanna go home and bake this bread!
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Came home from work, put on my house dress thing, and rushed outside barefoot to feed sourdough discard water to my vegetable garden.
β¦ sometimes I donβt recognize myself. π²
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I have vegetables growing in the yard outside and sourdough bread growing on the counter in the kitchen. Operation: Just-A-Girl Era is in full effect. π
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Queen Bee πΈπ»π retweeted
Mar 20
This legitimately might be the best throw in baseball history
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New job lets me off at noon on Fridays. π
New nails: β
Tanning bed sesh: β
Iced coffee treat: β
Home in time to watch Bama ball: β
β
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Monday: sleepy, bored, and out of coffee. I need IT to hurry up and get me set up so I can at least pretend I have something to do.
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Canβt wait!
Mar 13
We're ready and so is the Superdomeπ
See you this weekend, NOLA!
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