Instagram Anti-Influencer. Most positive negative person you will ever meet. The Anti-Influencer Hour @packtheater
Joined June 2011
- Tweets 1,431
- Following 468
- Followers 398
- Likes 232
258 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
14 Sep 2021
Yeah, this will fix climate change. When they breed it with a poodle, I want one. #woollydoodle #science #woollymammoth #climatechange #poodles #doodles #trendydogbreeds
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22 Jul 2023
Hey @Ticketmaster are you going to ever respond to customer service emails or are you just going to continue stealing $ since you are now owned by @LiveNation
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9 Sep 2022
You know you’ve found true love when you and your boyfriend text back and forth all morning about what kind of food could fix the alkaline level of your cat’s pee. @PrettyLitter #CatsofTwittter #Lovestory
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1 Sep 2022
What stage of adulthood is not wanting to put your purse on the floor of a restaurant during a meeting and needing to put it on a chair?
29 Aug 2022
First world problem—but question: who decided that it was a good idea to replace all Iced coffee with cold brew in all coffee shops this year? Those of us who get diarrhea from everything would like to know. ☕️
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26 Aug 2022
Shit he ordered the entire @Chewy Disney collection. 🐈⬛🤦♀️
22 Aug 2022
Go easy on yourself. It's not you. Ted was up during the night and clicked on "Order Now." Check to be sure no additional treats or toys were included.
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22 Aug 2022
So.......What stage of adulthood is tweeting at businesses being mad that they don't know your cat's name even though they sent him a handwritten BIRTHDAY card in the mail?
22 Aug 2022
His name is Ted and you just sent him a handwritten birthday card.
22 Aug 2022
What stage of adulthood is logging onto your @Chewy account to buy cat food, having it warn you that you already placed the same order recently, only to go into your order history and find that your drunk self ordered cat food at 1:58 AM- which you have no recollection of?
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4 May 2022
My dad’s advice to me as a comedian: “find 3 characters you’re good at and stay away from “the vergina” jokes. #unsolicitedhollywoodadvice
19 Apr 2022
#NYCmoment: just witnessed a man in NYC trying to have a romantic film moment where he fed a bunch of pigeons some bread. The pigeons wouldn’t eat his shitty bread. They wanted something more substantial or higher quality.
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19 Apr 2022
The man was very angry. Personally I think he should’ve just been more respective of the pigeon’s dietary preferences. Fucking boomers. #pretentiouspigeon #breadforbirds #birdsarentreal
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19 Apr 2022
Like maybe the pigeons just wanted a green juice or something. Or they’re angry about climate change.
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17 Apr 2022
All I want to know while watching @TheUltimatum is what the hell all of their dogs are thinking. Did they swap dogs too? Which dog likes which new couple more?
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17 Mar 2022
May you all shit green food dye tomorrow. -Proberb #StPatricksDay #greenbagels #greeneggsandham #green #stpattys
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10 Feb 2022
The best part of being on a film shoot in NYC is all the transplants who make fun of how I pronounce things. Go back to your own HARRIBLE home states.
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9 Feb 2022
When your back breaks a little bit just watching freestyle skiing #Beijing2022WinterOlympics #Olympics2022 #skiing #FreestyleSkiing
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2 Feb 2022
Sometimes I try to get ready for work at 530 AM but then I just walk around my house naked wearing only crocs panicking about whether or not I’m going to make coffee without ever making the coffee.
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