Joined September 2013
- Tweets 12,370
- Following 3,534
- Followers 3,098
- Likes 3,253
1,560 Photos and videos
28 Aug 2021
Pulling into a car wash bay:
Pull Forward.
Pull Forward.
Pull Forward.
OMG STAHP! NOT THAT FAR BACK UP YOU MORON WHERE ARE YOU GOING.
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Audra Rogers retweeted
25 Aug 2021
I’ve only been told I look like this cat by 4 people. Come on Twitter
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Audra Rogers retweeted
23 Aug 2021
Believe your boundaries. You don’t have to prove them, have someone agree, give you permission or understand for your to protect your peace. You have a right to secure your well-being.
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1 Aug 2021
How do you instantly turn your yard into 120 acres? Use one of these babies.
1 Aug 2021
I had a small Schitt's Creek Trivia girls night, come dressed as a character if you want. I made David's outfit from duct tape and old clothes. 4 pages of questions plus discussion, it was a blast! This show meant so much to so many people @danjlevy it's still such a gift. 💕
Audra Rogers retweeted
31 Jul 2021
Adulthood is mostly just waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in.
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Audra Rogers retweeted
11 Jun 2021
It’s not only about the power bill, it is also about the amount of time to re-cool the house after a kid leaves a door open.
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27 May 2021
Paying for items at a store with a card:
Insert card.
Wait. Wait.
Wait. Wait.
OMG TAKE YOUR CARD OUT OF THE MACHINE WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG GET OUT OF THE STORE.
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Audra Rogers retweeted
22 Apr 2021
Thought things were going pretty well for my marriage and family but apparently everyone has a pergola but us.
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18 Apr 2021
Great news everyone, my husband has defeated Ornstein and Smough the Executioner.
Audra Rogers retweeted
18 Apr 2021
My wife has added three new sighs to her collection.
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18 Apr 2021
No pressure, buddy. No pressure. Kudos to anyone out there who has ever had to mow in front of their dad.
Audra Rogers retweeted
12 Mar 2021
Ok it starts at 9 so we need to be there by 8:45 which means we need to leave by 8:10 so we need to have breakfast by...and be ready by... which means we need to wake up at....
Shoutout to parents doing that backwards math this weekend
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14 Feb 2021
After the movies I was Team Daniel-san but after the series I'm Team Johnny, oh yeah. The bad guy is good after all. 💕
8 Feb 2021
I kept thinking if that was me, I'd get lost in my own set.
8 Feb 2021
Me, not so long ago, trying to figure out what a “meme” was. 😀 x.com/Skeeter696969/status/1…
7 Feb 2021
I am trying so hard to stay awake so I can watch @danjlevy on SNL. It's peak mom, but I'm just so dang proud.