True Crime Junkie. Where southern charm and sarcasm collide. Funny, Autistic, and Wife. No DM'S or porn. SATIRE

Joined January 2025
941 Photos and videos
How much kindness does it take to kill someone? Asking for a friend.
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*Me getting a mammogram this morning* Nurse: Do you still have your period? Me: It's kinda early to fight but let's go.
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When my husband tries to kiss me with morning breath:
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Gas is so high, my mail lady is working from home. She just called and read my bills to me.
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My husband and his friend were talking and the friend asked him: What would you do if you had to arrest your wife? My husband: Call for backup.
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Stop putting flyers on my car! I don't want to see a band called "Parking violation" at the "Courthouse".
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Don't come around me sighing and making weird noises. I'm not asking what's wrong.
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I'm not a doctor but I don't think Jessica is going to make it.
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*Me trying to eat quietly so the unemployed people in my house don't ask for some* Luna:
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I'm wearing a green t-shirt and khaki shorts. My husband: Hi, Jake from State Farm. Funeral services will be Friday at Sacred Heart.
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If you find me offensive, then I suggest you stop finding me.
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My MIL Maria is doing much better since I removed those rails in the way. 🤗
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I wanted to marry a garage husband but I got a directly up my ass husband.
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The cool thing about X is that you are never the craziest person here.
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Check out the Lizzie Borden Podcast!
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Check out the Podcast on Princess Diana: What Really Happened!
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Luna says Good Morning, Yall! Have a great day. 🤗🇺🇸
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It's so annoying when my husband comes in and turns the light on to the bedroom to talk to me like I can't hear in the dark.
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