I'm President of the United States. I won the popular vote by 1 billion votes. I won all 62 states. Hillary begged me to stop winning. This is PARODY
Joined February 2017
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Unfortunately for the Knicks, their NBA Finals victory was seen by very few people. The ratings were terrible throughout and worse tonight because people would rather see my FIGHT NIGHT in honor of my birthday celebration!
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Congratulations to the New York Knicks! You never would have won it without me in attendance. I don’t ask for or expect any praise. Many do but I don’t. I’m very humble.
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I am Mr. America, and I love our country like no other! So we will move America’s 250th celebration to my birthday from here on out!
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The leaders of Iran are tough but good! They can now proudly say that they MADE IRAN GREAT AGAIN!
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Our great @SecWar Pete Hegseth bench pressed and did calisthenics with out great and STRONG troops in Cuba! Can you imagine former Secretary of Defense (weak sounding) Dick Cheney doing that? He would have had a heart attack!
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HISTORIC IRAN-USA PEACE DEAL SIGNING TOMORROW AT UFC EVENT AT THE WHITE HOUSE!!!
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PEACE IS AT HAND! I AM THE PROPHET OF PEACE! Praise be to ME!
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We’ve made a great deal with Iran. Obama and Biden couldn’t make a good deal. I made a great deal! We’ll stop bombing them and will leave the Middl East. They’ll stay in power, will get the Strait of Hormuz, and will keep it OPEN FOR BUSINESSES!
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I’m never sleeping in the pictures you’re seeing. That’s me closing my eyes to pray!
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Inflation is terrific! It’s higher than ever! Great numbers!
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I’ve never said this before but the deal to end the Iran War is CLOSE!
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I have authorized our military to launch attacks on parts of Minnesota, Texas, and New York in order to stop anti-Ice protests paid for and organized by Antifa, Democrat Terrorists, and illegals!
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I love the inflation. Inflation is a good thing. It means we’re winning perfectly in Iran!
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Congratulations to @narendramodi for becoming the longest serving Prime Minister of India. The United States and India share a common bond of Native Americans - Indians. You should build more casinos and allow the sale of cheap cigarettes! Enjoy!
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We fully control the Strait of Hormuz, not Iran. Iran is totally defeated, and completely unable to launch any military operations. It is because we fully control Hormuz that we are able to sneak a few ships through with their transponders off (we don’t want Iran to find out!)
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Electile Dysfunction is a serious disease. @WhiteHouse @JoeBiden
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Tonight under my divine authority I have authorized the United States Armed Forces to completely obliterate Iranian military infrastructure of which there is none because I already obliterated it and totally defeated them like no other two months ago.
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Abraham Lincoln never beat the hell out of Iran, went to a Knicks game, or sacrificed himself for his country like I have!
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