Comedian. Plastic Elvis. timvinetelevisual.com/ timvine.com
Joined July 2011
- Tweets 16,116
- Following 133
- Followers 299,061
- Likes 679
2,033 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
May 9
I’m doing one week at the Edinburgh Festival with my new stand up show. Tickets here folks: pleasance.co.uk/event/tim-vi…
26
7
123
21,254
Jun 12
I remember before the USA World Cup in 1994 there was talk that they wanted to split the game into quarters for Ad breaks. It was laughed off by the footballing world. Well they’ve done it in 2026 covertly with the introduction of the water break in each half. Tricked us all.
138
675
7,785
165,064
Jun 11
Who’s going to win the World Cup? I’m going to say Van Gerwen Van Veen. That’s a blistering pair up.
24
8
170
35,800
Jun 9
My England World Cup Song. This could be out of date in two weeks. Listen while it’s still relevant! Come on England. 🏴🏴🏴🏴#theWorldCup
121
181
1,274
136,556
Jun 8
Out of interest How would you people sell a silly World Cup song for charity? The simplest way. The way that even a total moron could understand.
48
5
52
27,236
Jun 5
Tomorrow! That’s Saturday June 6th. It promises to be a marvellous day of laughter by the sea. 🎶Chuckles and Mussels alive alive O! 🎶
6
4
37
10,528
May 30
I don’t even support Arsenal and that was torturous. Good training for the World Cup.
17
6
181
20,274
May 30
Whenever I took a penalty I always knew where I was going to put it before I took it. On the penalty spot.
13
16
336
37,792
May 30
“Penalties is where the goalkeeper coaches earn their money”. So if it hadn’t gone to penalties they wouldn’t have earned any money??
9
7
72
18,258
May 30
Is there the possibility that the reason he never had a look at that penalty shout was because it took so long before the ball next went out of play?
42
2
36
28,085
May 28
There was a moment early in Elvis’s career when he said to friends ‘I’m too far in to get out now’. When the pressure of expectation was uncomfortably huge but too many people were relying on him for their livelihoods. Almost trapped. Reminds me a bit of Luke Littler.
58
9
268
61,547
May 26
My submission for next year’s Chelsea flower show. Rewilded garden plus central walkway.
37
9
378
25,195
May 25
The Dahlia or Chrysantheum debate is hotting up. Maybe I should plant Dahlias one side of the garden and Pom Pom Chrysanths on the other and have a tennis match.
May 25
Nope, that’s a member of the chrysanthemum family. The rule, which I learned during 35 years in the flower trade, is look at the leaf not the flower.
This is a pompom chrysanth, they only come in yellow and white.
See dahlia leaf.
10
3
37
17,927
May 25
Lovely chat with Matt.
Isolation Interviews Episode 255 (Tim Vine) youtu.be/xQ6Yja6H3ms?si=VMwa… via @YouTube @RealTimVine such a pleasure to speak with the incredible Tim Vine about his life in comedy and so much more!!! @HRReading
2
2
12
15,045
May 25
Thank you Alison.
May 25
That’s a pompom dahlia. People are saying it’s a chrysanthemum but it isn’t. Chrysanths are later in the year and their petals are shaggy and point downwards. Same shape, though. My papa used to grow both.
1
1
22
20,880
May 24
What type of flower is this? It’s great. I’m thinking of growing some in my garden. It looks like a Slazenger tennis ball.
46
3
132
33,745
May 24
On a day as hot as today if you see a fridge at the end of someone’s drive you’re going to check at least.
14
10
143
57,646
May 22
Buy…this…book.
May 20
Loads of fun at Book Launch at Crouch End Waterstones on Monday.
Book incoming.
Tomorrow !!!!
( clink link in bio )
BUY !!! No refunds x
1
14
21,728