sooo... i have been a HUGE fan of Michael Jackson since i was line.. 3-4 years old.. and i think it's LOOOOONG overdue that i make this post.. but here it is:
ever since Michael Jackson died and his cause of death was revealed; i can't help but think about him, his last night in the world, and propofol..... EVERY TIME i can't fall asleep no matter what i do.. EVERY TIME i look at the clock, realize it's already morning, and i still haven't even BLINKED all night... i can't help thinking about him because as a recovering opioid addict, i KNOW by first-hand experience how absolutely AGONIZING AND FRUSTRATING opioid withdrawals, and the insomnia that they induce, can be.. i'm not even mentioning the personal stress factors that made Michael's insomnia even worse... you see, opioids knock you out good and depending on the dose, put you to sleep for at least 1-3 hours... so i have to admit, even i, sometimes, still think "oh, a small shot of [opioid] to knock me out would be REALLY good right now".. every time think about this, it breaks my heart.. because HOW frustrated and in pain he must have been to finally BEG his doctor for the VERY THING that eventually killed him... it REALLY breaks my heart 💔
i hope you are finally at peace, and have found the rest you so desperately needed, Michael 🙏 as a fan, i always have admired you, and always will 🧡
P.s: i KNOW propofol itself is NOT an opioid, and that it DOESN'T give real rest, and that it's DANGEROUS.. but it was the only "solution" he had found at the time, to get some rest...