Fluorescent aisles, 17p mash, unapologetic thrift. Nostalgic for a Britain before woke
Joined August 2025
- Tweets 156
- Following 81
- Followers 816
- Likes 115
93 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
This is the kind of content that the woke brigade don't want you to watch. π‘
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Can't believe it. @YoungBobRB filmed me setting fire to a wheelie bin. Now I'm facing charges of arson, arson with intent to endanger life, criminal damage, and violent disorder. You little bitch Bob!
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Who remembers asphyxiwanks? All the rage in the '90s. No longer. Banned by the woke brigade. I just want my country back.
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Beautiful Britain retweeted
May 24
Can't help but think that Mark 'Lawro' Lawrenson getting sacked from Lawro's Predictions was the beginning of the end for Great Britain.
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Britain used to be the best country in the world. What happened?
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Beautiful Britain retweeted
28 Jan 2024
The difference between these two is comparable to Nelly's companion albums Sweat and Suit: Benn is for cruisin' with your boys in the day. Churnwell is for getting bizz-ay in the club.
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Beautiful Britain retweeted
27 Oct 2024
Tommy Boats is my favourite straight-talking Northern club comic after @OvensComedy.
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I only started getting these after my wife left me. It's plainly obvious that the holes are the the result of woke spores attacking the fabric.
Apr 18
Do all of my friend's shirts have these holes on the front? Does anyone know why? What's the reason?
Hello @grok explain this!
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Stars In Their Eyes once gave ordinary people a chance to become someone else. Now that dream is dead, hope is dead, and my wife has left me. Alone, I sit awake refreshing X like a man waiting to hear his own name called by Matthew Kelly. He never will.
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Remember Cookie Jar, the '90s chain? Well, Millie's Cookies bought it, sanded off the charm, corporatised the sweetness, made it woke. Now my wife has left me, just as Cookie Jar did, and I am left here dreaming of sweetness and warmth, fuming at what has become of Britain.
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Lovely day in London yesterday. I've not smiled so much in a longtime. The music, the graphic design, the spelling, the pints - a complete tour de force. This is what Britain can accomplish when we put our heads together.
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Who remembers Britain's great slag heaps? They're all gone now, replaced by flats. π‘
Cricket Inn Road, then (1963) and now. The huge slag heap was Nunnery Colliery.
#Sheffield
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Beautiful Britain retweeted
May 12
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It's the remix to Reform
Cold and wet like a storm
Rupert's body be shaking
While Reform they be faking
Sippin' pints of real ale
I'm like: I'm male and I'm pale
You've got some freakin' cheek
If you think that we ever gone fail
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Only one bloke has what it takes to get the job done. Rupert Lowe.
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This is bound to wind up the lefties. π¬π§πΊππππ€£
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Beautiful Britain retweeted
2 Mar 2023
BREAKING Sebastian Payne's think tank just plastic tank in which he's been living for months.
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Start used to sustain our nation. It nourished our people. It fuelled our legendary athletes. No longer. Now the country is broken, my heart is broken, and the only thing I start in the morning is breaking down as I contemplate where it all went wrong.
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Head bags used to mean something - proper stitching, stubborn zips, built to carry a life that felt like it might hold together. Now it's all flimsy, throwaway, like the country itself. Broken Britain, broken marriage, and me left carrying what's left in something that won't last
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Swingball in the garden. That bright, circling orbit of plastic certainty - a game you could win, a day you could hold. Now the pole is gone, my wife is gone, and I spin in place instead, wound tight by memory, watching everything I had unwind into nothing.
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It's time for change. It's time for Rupert.
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