If, in theory, aliens land on this planet and show their friendship, c…

The odds that friendly aliens (let's assume they're humanoid enough to wear clap skates and compete under roughly the same rules) would beat the Dutch in long-track speed skating (the classic Olympic discipline the Netherlands obsesses over) are extremely low—something like 1 in 50 to 1 in 200 per major event, or even lower overall. The Netherlands has been the most dominant force in Olympic long-track speed skating for decades: They hold far more total medals (~133 historically) and golds (~4…