This year was the year of my awakening.

I was just thinking about the books I read when I was growing up. I read just about anything I could get my hands on, and I had the added bonus that my great-aunt was a librarian at a local university. She would gift me books that I would've never thought to read. She helped nourish my love of reading from a very young age and that turned into a love of writing. I haven't seen or talked to her since my father died (family has always been distant in this way, the only way I know) but I think about her often. She does know how much I appreciate all those weird little books every year on my birthday and Christmas. The last time I saw her, I thanked her for every book she ever gave me, how grateful I was even then to have an aunt like her who always shared her love of reading with me. She told me all she ever wanted was for me to expand my mind, my imagination, and to show me there was a great big world out there--and that there are many in the world of fiction where our imagination is infinite. I don't know what sparked those memories today, but it just made me feel so very deeply appreciative for the things my Aunt Judy did for me when I was young, even if it was just a couple of books a year. It helped shaped me into the woman I am today, the one who feels more like herself getting lost in a good story and forgetting about the world for a little while. And for that I am forever grateful.

So far in the last week since deciding to cut most carbs and sugar I’d say I’m doing pretty fucking good. Already starting to feel better, as in not so sluggish. I fear, though, the exhaustion I feel comes with my job and age so that’ll never go away 😂

I haven’t had an energy drink in like three days. Drinking one now cos I need a pick me up. It’s a bleh kinda day. Thunderstorms rolling through and I’m stuck at work for another hour. Gonna write til late tonight (hopefully)

Two days in a row now I’ve gotten terrible attitude from the girl working the counter at Tim Hortons. Would it kill you to be a little kind? I told her “have a nice day and maybe work on your customer service skills a bit eh” and now I’m afraid she will spit in my coffee next time I go there. Oh well

I ordered some liquid collagen from @spoiledchildnyc last week and it just came late last night. I can't wait to get started on this. Being in my 40s now, my hair is starting to thin too much, my skin is eeeehhh, and the other added benefits will just be a plus if it works for me

I woke up at 4am, like I always do when I work open shift. Tried to write. Every time I got a few hundred words, I read them back, deleted them and started again. It's been one of those mornings where things just aren't connecting the way that I need them to

Am I tired? Exhausted doesn't cover it. Am I writing? Yep! It's been a great way for me to unwind after a hell of a shift at work today. I had the urge to drink earlier, I didn't though cos I won't ruin my sobriety, so writing is a good alternative as any for me in moments like this

May have finally convinced my brother to cut his hair. He looks like he's a homeless dude with his long unruly beard (that he doesn't take care of) and his hair that's long and never brushed. Only downside, I am the one buzzing it off for him on the condition he washes it first

It’s been a day at work. Everything is in shambles. Management doesn’t manage (which seems to be the norm at any store) and we are even more short staffed than we were supposed to be. I can’t wait to get out of here 😩

I browse X on the For You page. Sometimes I feel weird engaging with random posts from people I never seen before/don’t know but eh, if I like what I read I’ll hit that ❤️ without hesitation every single time

Co-worker always buys me a coffee if I stop and pick the order up from Tim’s on my way in. The girl working today was rude and nasty like jeez girl lose the attitude I just want my coffee. She held it hostage for 3 minutes 😑

If I ever won the lottery, I’d buy a cute little bungalow, work part time just to have something to do with little commitment, and I’d probably write my first novel. Pipe dream, sure, but I don’t need or ask for much

Been writing in microbursts this morning. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't write when someone else is in the room with me. It errs my focus and I feel like I'm being judged. It's just weird

It's one of those mornings where I have to give myself a pep talk to get my ass moving. Work is gonna be rough today. Busy, short-staffed, super fun! Here's hoping my shift at least goes quickly so I can have a nap when I get home (or write, depends on how tired I am)

So...I got distracted by the baseball game. Sorry, writing gods, I'll do better tomorrow. I promise

You don't see baseballs hit this far every day 😮 Kazuma Okamoto sends one to the THIRD DECK 🤯