Perhaps this year isn't about becoming anything at all. Maybe instead, it's about slowly unbecoming all the things which no longer align with you, and finding peace in the quiet return to your authentic self.
At some point, you will have to disappoint others to live a life that's honest to you. People pleasing will drain you, not save you. You have every right to set boundaries and choose your peace. You can disappoint people and still be a good person.