@RobCrean profile picture
Rob Crean @RobCrean

Buy my album! at deadandmellow.com/rob-crean Watch my shows YouTube.com/Andersoncomedy

Joined June 2009
  • Tweets 5,886
  • Following 703
  • Followers 2,039
1,013 Photos and videos
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
19 May 2021
Whenever someone tells me they’re an empath, I think, “wow, you must feel so annoyed right now.”
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Boston
@BostonMassUSA
9 Mar 2024
"I'm Allston sober. I don't drink alcohol, but I drink tons of NyQuil" -- @RobCrean
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
22 Apr 2019
Saw this lady with a bag on her head in the Trader Joe’s parking lot and, I don’t know, just happy to be alive.
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
22 Apr 2019
I can’t believe @JohnFKennedy tweeted this over 50 years ago and it still has zero likes.
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Myq (Parenthetical) Kaplan@myqkaplan
20 Mar 2023
“live in between albums” is now available! perfect for if you enjoy my comedy but haven’t heard this album yet! thanks to @raminnazer for the cover art, to @blondemedicine for producing it, and to @RobCrean for having me on The Gas where i recorded it! blondemedicine.com/bm004
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
12 Dec 2022
All the people upset about The Little Mermaid being black sound so stupid. That said, if I get there and Ursula isn't a big titted butch, I will burn the theater down.
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
31 Oct 2022
x.com/i/spaces/1OdKrzdeewAKX
Rob Crean@RobCrean
15 Oct 2022
I've know for a while that methane,the gas in farts, has no smell, so when you "smell a fart" that's actually microscopic fecal matter in your nose, but I just learned farts also have no sound, so if you hear a fart that's micro doo-doo in your ears!
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
1 Sep 2022
I don't look AT purses, I look THROUGH them.
Rob Crean@RobCrean
1 Sep 2022
I'm Allston sober. I don't drink alcohol, but I drink tons of NyQuil.
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
28 Aug 2022
They say if during your day you meet an asshole, hey, you met an asshole, but if all day long all you meet is assholes, you're the asshole. Well, today, I am definitely an asshole.
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
25 Aug 2022
Just saw what appeared to be a 25 year old kid sharing a vape with his mom.
Rob Crean@RobCrean
22 Aug 2022
I JUST found out Billy Joel fans call themselves "Holy Joelers".
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
8 Aug 2022
What does this man have to do to get his name in the headline?
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
2 Aug 2022
Nothing tastes as good as pooping it out feels.
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
6 Jul 2022
Watching Stranger Things 4 with Heather. I keep saying, "They shouldn't have yelled at Eddie Munson." and she keeps saying, "They actually didn't yell at Eddie Munson!"
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
5 Jul 2022
Stranger Things has such made up sounding names, Max Mayfield, Eddie Munson, Finn Wolfhard, Millie Bobbi Brown.
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
30 Jun 2022
Stop saying you tricked your wife into marrying you. If you think that's a cool thing to say, we do all agree it's true and it bums us out when you say it.
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Rob Crean retweeted
Josh Gondelman@joshgondelman
26 Jun 2022
Replying to @iamtherog
Yes! I moved to NY in 2011 but came back occasionally and did The Gas!
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Rob Crean@RobCrean
14 Jun 2022
They took grammar so seriously at my school bullies would ask if I wanted a "hurts doesn't it."
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