My thoughts are from my own disturbed mind & don't represent the views of the T.V. station I work for. #TeamTacos
Joined April 2009
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Apr 26
Does anyone else ever have that dream where Bill Murray comes to them dressed as a Jedi to recruit them as the protector of the colonel’s eleven herbs and spices?
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R😷b The Half Breed retweeted
Great. They replaced the lady who shot her dog with the guy who hid behind a chair on January 6th.
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Feb 16
During the Winter Olympic Games, it’s important that we take a moment to ask ourselves: What would Brian Boitano do?
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25 Mar 2025
*phone rings*
Me: *answers phone*
Caller: Hello. We’ve been trying to reach you concerning your country’s current war plans.
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24 Mar 2025
Officer: Can you explain to me why you were driving 90 mph in 45?
Me: I was listening to Bush’s “Machinehead”, sir.
Officer: I totally understand. You’re free to go.
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23 Nov 2024
Dear radio stations, nobody wants to hear “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. There are plenty of other Christmas songs to pick from.
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22 Nov 2024
Bobby: Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet.
Horse: I’m going as fast as I can, Bobby! Get off my back. Do you know how heavy this damn sleigh is?
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R😷b The Half Breed retweeted
Line Fire Evening Update 09/30/2024
The #LineFire is now at 43,182 with 78% containment and 1,701 personnel. This is a full suppression incident. All efforts are being made to suppress the fire as soon as possible.
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28 Aug 2024
Paranormal Investigator: If you want to communicate, turn on the flashlight.
Revolutionary War Ghost: What the fuck is a flashlight?
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19 Jul 2024
I swear, if some politician starts telling us Brawndo is what plants crave, I’ll be done.
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R😷b The Half Breed retweeted
12 Jun 2024
I can't stop laughing! This is how dumb you MAGAs look. 🤣
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12 Apr 2024
Is it me or does Trump where the same dark blue suit and red tie everywhere goes?
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27 Jan 2024
“Dude, that dragon took your castle and kicked all your people out. You gonna take that from him? You should find him and kick his ass. Just saying. Thats what I would do, but then again, I’m not a wussy.” - Gandalf to Thorin probably.
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11 Dec 2023
I took off my glasses to read small print tonight. When do I get my AARP card?
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