Joined March 2007
- Tweets 8,572
- Following 906
- Followers 545
- Likes 21,327
574 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
3 May 2017
He gets what he deserves with a name that stupid.
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31 Oct 2024
#A2Council none of the houses with “yes on c/d” signs we passed tonight were giving out candy. Most of the “no” sign houses were. Are the mayor & his allies trying to buy the children’s votes?
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1 Nov 2024
The lamestream media wants you to think “the economy is good,” but wave after wave of children has rung my doorbell begging for free candy tonight
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31 Oct 2024
Popular Halloween costumes this year amongst #a2council Prop C and Prop D supporters:
- not a landlord
- progressive democrat
#playingdressup
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When the proponents of Ann Arbor Props C & D describes the most diverse Council in 200 years as “just looks” and suggests they are “owned,” you realize why the Ann Arbor NAACP rejected the measures, too. #a2council 1/2
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4 Sep 2024
Tupperware after you put spaghetti in it
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31 Aug 2024
my high school spent a semester teaching me how to take care of a baby and a semester teaching me about the French Revolution and I don't think any of us could have predicted which one of those semesters was actually preparing me for my adult life
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28 Aug 2024
If someone in Australia cuts down a tree on public land to improve the view from their house, the local government will install a sign to block that view again
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10 Aug 2024
Last year I sent my kid a serialized story as letters to him summer camp based on the Hatfield/McCoy feud, and I think this year I'm going to try to do House of Leaves.
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5 Jul 2024
Our dog's fear of fireworks is for us. If we're all in bed she's fine with fireworks, but if we're anywhere else, she's freaking out about our safety and barking at us until we get in bed. It would be cute if we didn't want to, you know, stay up and watch the fireworks.
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Ry4an Brase is gone retweeted
26 May 2024
My 16 year old doesn't think she's ever going to need to open a can. The post apocalypse is not going to go well.
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21 May 2024
It takes 1.5 hours to remove the bristles of a hair brush, one at a time, while it's tangled in someone's hair.
ALT pliers and a disassembled hair brush
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21 Apr 2024
I'm coming home from this (one) dog walk with two refuse bags and just convinced myself that "HTTP chunked encoding" is a more accurate but less funny joke than "two phase commit". This industry has ruined me as a person.
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5 Apr 2024
you can stare directly at the eclipse if your will is strong. the righteous shall prevail
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6 Apr 2024
Kate is bringing a bag of loose glitter to a friend's house to do arts and crafts with their child. Clearly she means violence.
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10 Mar 2024
It's kinda wild that with every clock in our lives being daylight saving time aware it's no longer necessary to know it's switching at all unless you have international meetings.
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17 Feb 2024
When I tell people AI chuds are the same people who said NFTs and The Metaverse were "inevitable", "the future", I mean it. It's the same grift with different names.
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16 Feb 2024
Tonight I will board a red eye flight. The only vehicle with more people in agony over remorse about their life choices is a prison bus.
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9 Feb 2024
if you “hate” babies and young children……..we need to talk. I’ve been hoping to meet others interested in pranking a child i recently met. it will require 4-5 individuals and one must own a car
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