Waiting for Godot to @ me
Joined July 2015
- Tweets 1,004
- Following 303
- Followers 8,490
- Likes 4,561
39 Photos and videos
Jan 26
I would like to show my support for ICE by offering all agents free tickets to my show
To qualify, please send me your full name, home address, and a picture of your face (no mask)
1
7
554
I just had a vision of myself at 80 years old scrolling through my phone’s contacts, each one being a friend or family member who has already passed away. I come across the contact “Emily Tinder”. The last text, sent several decades ago, is “u up?”. I text, “U alive?”
2
418
19 Nov 2025
Macklin getting the hat trick, and the Sharks winning 3-2… that’s incredible . That’s gotta be called a Celebrini, right? Winning the game with a hat trick and you’re the only goal scorer ?
1
542
14 Nov 2025
I’m afraid that when you read a novel, you imagine the scenes from a single cam sitcom perspective; whereas I, an intellectual, am implementing Kubrickian close-ups, Scorsese tracking shots, Noe birds-eye views, etc, etc
8
620
22 Sep 2025
HIM does not deserve the panning it’s getting from the critics. Certainly not a perfect movie, but a unique one. Stands out to me amongst all the rehashed ideas and remakes.
1
4
514
21 Sep 2025
Sitting is the new smoking ? Then I will not let my son sit until he is 21
If I catch him sitting in a chair before then, I’ll make him sit in every chair of the house
1
8
494
18 Jul 2025
The band Twenty-One Pilots has been arrested for plotting ten and a half 9/11s
3
1
7
988
16 May 2025
Is this an argument for Gretzky > Ovi?
16 May 2025
The Capitals have only advanced past the second round ONCE in Alex Ovechkin's 20-year career (2018, won Cup) 🤯
1
1
1,028
11 May 2025
Has there ever been a comedian “before their time”?
2
1
3
1,192
Ryan Goodcase retweeted
2 May 2025
The NHL Needs To Stop Fuckin' Cutting Away From Post-Series Handshake Lines Because It's The Biggest Asshole Move Of The Playoffs So Far buff.ly/mcneqZY
118
219
4,296
240,154
6 Apr 2025
Hockey is unique in many ways. One of my favorite is the use of “the trapezoid” as a delegating shape on the ice . Who else is using a trapezoid
1
6
741
6 Apr 2025
Also, the penalty box. Closest analog I think is the WWE elimination chamber
2
437
Ryan Goodcase retweeted
9 Feb 2025
If I could have one wish it would be to see Kanye's twitter drafts
1
1
6
678
22 Oct 2024
I have a participation kink. Just happy to be here
4
1
16
1,370
26 Sep 2024
Nardwuar interviewing P Diddy but each item is just a piece of implicating evidence
2
16
1,413
16 Sep 2024
Would love to meet the first guy to lose his virginity in the back of a Cybertruck
5
1
15
2,081
Ryan Goodcase retweeted
6 Jul 2024
The best film of the last ten years is that episode of ‘Joe Pera Talks With You’ where he hears “Baba O’Riley” by The Who for the first time.
20
436
3,085
168,246