A developer automated his entire life with scripts. Then he quit. His coworkers found them.
The repo is called Hacker Scripts. 49,500 stars on GitHub. Based on a true story.
The original story comes from a Russian forum around 2015. A build engineer left his company. His coworkers went through his old machine.
Here is what they found:
Script 1: "hangover"
If it is 8:45 AM and he has not logged in, the script emails his boss "not feeling well, working from home." Excuse pulled from a random list he pre-wrote.
Script 2: "kumar-asshole"
If a specific client emails with words like "help" or "trouble," the script SSH's into the client's server, rolls back the database to the last good backup, and replies "no worries mate, be careful next time." The client never spoke to a human.
Script 3: "smack-my-bitch-up"
If it is after 9 PM and he is still logged in, the script texts his wife "working late" with a random excuse from a pre-written list.
Script 4: "fucking-coffee"
The office coffee machine ran Linux. It had a TCP port open. Every morning, 17 seconds after he logged in, the script opened a telnet session to the machine and sent the brew command. A mid-sized half-caf latte. 24 seconds to brew. His coffee was ready the moment he walked to the kitchen. Every time. For years.
His boss thought he was the most responsive developer on the team. His wife thought he was always keeping her updated. His client thought he had the fastest support in the industry.
All four were talking to bash scripts.
Nobody noticed. For years.
His coworkers posted the scripts to GitHub when they found them. Developers around the world reimplemented them in 17 languages. Ruby, Python, Go, Java, Kotlin, PHP, PowerShell, Node.js, and more.
One legend. Seventeen languages. 150 commits.
The license is WTFPL. A real open source license. It stands for "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License."
He did not automate his job. He automated his life. And nobody knew until he left.
49,500 stars. WTFPL licensed. Legendary.