[The camera fades to Ryan Beautiful! Her team is carefully pinning her dress, crystals on her gown, & she is holding a crystal flute of sparkling water.]
Ryan Beautiful (
@RyanxBeautiful): "OOMFIVERSE... perfection takes time, but as you can see, the masterpiece is nearly complete. While my delicate body continues its miraculous, medically supervised recovery, I am utilizing my downtime to curate my wardrobe for my inevitable return because when I finally step back onto Friday Night SmackDown, I absolutely refuse to blend in with the visual tragedies currently polluting the roster."
[Ryan takes a sip of her sparkling water, handing the glass off to an assistant.]
Ryan: "Speaking of visual tragedies... last week, I forced myself to watch the SmackDown qualifiers, and unfortunately… my eyes were completely assaulted by the sight of Lash Legend (
@Jojo2Liv) actually punching her ticket to the Money in the Bank ladder match. Lash, darling... we need to have a VERY serious, very uncomfortable conversation about 'volume,' and I don't just mean your voice which is entirely too much… but your entire aesthetic. You seem to mistake 'loud' for 'luxurious.' The chaotic colors, the aggressive energy, the desperate need to take up every single inch of space in the room... it reeks of insecurity! True stars do not need to scream to be noticed, Lash. We simply exist, and the world stops to stare. Now you are headed to Los Angeles, you are going to climb a dirty, heavy ladder and try to retrieve a metal briefcase but let's be brutally honest, Lash... even if you somehow win that contract, no amount of championship gold is going to buy you an ounce of ACTUAL class. You can wear all the glitter and loud patterns you want, but underneath it all, you're still just... tacky. You might be a legend in your own mind, honey…but in the real world? You're just a fashion disaster waiting to happen. Do better, Lash or I will be forced to fix you myself when I return. Stay strong, OOMFIVERSE... and stay beautiful!"
[Ryan flashes a picture-perfect, smile, gives a elegant wave to the camera as the screen fades back to the"RYAN BEAUTIFUL: COMING SOON."]