sometimes i scare the government
Joined February 2018
- Tweets 58
- Following 15
- Followers 10
- Likes 27
7 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
13 Feb 2018
How come when youtubers talk about conspiracy theories they're "cool" and "funny" but when i do it i'm "a dangerous psychotic" and "wanted for questioning"
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24 Apr 2018
If you get detained by police they don't give you a harmonica to play??????
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desmond. retweeted
9 Mar 2017
COMEY FBI I TOLD YOU TO STOP TALKING TO ME IN MY HOME NOW STOP IT NOW
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23 Apr 2018
I identify with anyone who takes more than a minute to remove all of their weapons
17 Apr 2018
burn notice spy tips should not be applicable to real life situations, i refuse to accept this
18 Mar 2018
if you call yourself a spy and you look like you came off the set of a james bond movie you're bad at your job
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4 Mar 2018
i want to do the piano man "it's 9 o'clock on a saturday" joke but i only remember that i want to do it at like 4am on a sunday.
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2 Mar 2018
If you haven't drunkenly made out with them once are they really that close of a friend?
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22 Feb 2018
apparently a euphemism for having sex is "christening the yak" and i have so many questions
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22 Feb 2018
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT
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desmond. retweeted
20 Feb 2018
it’s tuesday and yet somehow i’ve already had 9 bad days this week
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