Your broad has man hands like Jean Claude Van Damme and a raw dog tramp stamp of a hot rod Trans-Am
Joined February 2015
- Tweets 135,709
- Following 988
- Followers 11,647
- Likes 154,588
514 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
30 May 2017
Dig your nails into my back like you're trying to rip my wings off.
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Jun 14
Full of oysters and beer, who’s ready for 56 seconds of bliss
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20 Jan 2015
The light above my stove has three settings --
"off"
"high" and
"glaucomal murkiness."
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16 Feb 2021
One time I listened to just over half of a Black-eyed Peas song and forgot how to chew food.
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Jun 14
faking dead in the pool to see if anyone cares
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Every day is an initiation.
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Jun 13
Now that I have nicknamed my dick "The Dadillac" I’m going to be completely insufferable the whole summer
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Jun 12
World Cup opening game in Canada! 🇨🇦🏆
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Jun 12
This really is beautiful.
The moose, polar bear, whale.
Indigenous Nations of Canada welcoming the world to the World Cup in Toronto.
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"I simply don't have the patience to be a hostage negotiator"
- me, apologising to the family of a deceased hostage.
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Jun 12
this is hours before kick off btw but they told us canada doesn’t care about the world cup
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Jun 12
Canada will host a first-ever men's World Cup game in a little less than four hours, and the fan march has already begun 🇨🇦
Toronto looks ready 🍁
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Jun 12
Happy game day Marlies fans!
Sportsnet is broadcasting all the Calder Cup Finals action for cable television subscribers beginning with Game 1 tonight while FloHockey continues their exclusive AHL streaming coverage. Let’s go Marlies!
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Jun 11
Day 14,297 that Salma Hayek hasn’t asked for my hand in marriage
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Jun 11
making a dozen deviled eggs to watch porn
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