Proudly representing Ambridge & Borcestshire East. Life peer in the House of Sausages. Collector of rare chutneys. Former Love Island contestant (briefly)

Joined March 2015
12,441 Photos and videos
Well there I am doing a walking tour of my new area, now I've finally moved in. I was a bit surprised to wander past @omid9 who was also out and about enjoying the sun.
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This time of year is strange, I literally walked home from a club this morning, as the sun was rising!
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Nice to see @LemonKeth and Gerri Haliwell hosting #Eurovisión2026
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Ash retweeted
The Labour Bloodbath Begins. JonathanPie.com
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bbc.co.uk/news/live/c1e2n923… Jess Phillips resigns as minister after PM says he won't quit! When a parasite like Jess Phillips abandons the host she's been leaching off, you know they're close to the end.
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Sounds promising until you eat the bugger.
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Jumpers disappear near cliff edge in a beachy head photoshoot! 😂🤣🤣🤣
Erm? I do think, considering the cliff top location that the words "Jumpers" & "Disappear" was not thought through 🤣🤦‍♀️
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Controversial I know, but I used to love school dinners
A British school dinner in 1975 was cooked on-site, from whole ingredients, by a dinner lady who knew, without consulting a nutritional database, what a growing child needed to eat. The dinner was: roast beef, gravy from the drippings, boiled potatoes, cabbage, and sponge pudding with custard made from eggs and milk. Or shepherd's pie from real mince. Or liver and onions. Or fish on Friday, battered and fried in beef dripping. In a single sitting: haem iron from the meat, calcium from the custard, B12 from the liver, vitamin A from the gravy fat, vitamin D from the eggs, zinc from the beef, omega-3 from the fish, collagen from the gravy, complete protein from every component, and roughly 800 calories dense enough to carry a child through an afternoon of running around a playground in January. Then the system changed. In the 1980s and 1990s, local authority catering was outsourced. On-site kitchens closed. Dinner ladies were made redundant. Central production kitchens began manufacturing meals reheated in convection ovens. The roast beef became a turkey twizzler. The shepherd's pie became a pre-formed disc of processed potato and reconstituted meat product. The liver disappeared entirely. The fish was coated in breadcrumbs and fried in vegetable oil. The custard was made from powder, water, and yellow colouring. The sponge pudding was replaced by a yoghurt tube. Jamie Oliver's 2005 campaign filmed children who could not identify a tomato. Kitchens where the only equipment was a deep fryer and a microwave. Menus that contained less nutritional value in a full week than the 1975 dinner contained in a single sitting. The government pledged reform. But the on-site kitchen did not come back. The dinner lady did not come back. The roast beef and the liver and the custard made from eggs did not come back. The 1975 dinner lady, who had no nutritional qualification and had never heard of a DIAAS score, was producing, at approximately 30p per serving, a meal that contained more bioavailable nutrition than anything the modern system produces at three times the cost. She has been replaced by a supply chain. The supply chain is more expensive. The children are less well fed. The dinner lady knew what she was doing. Nobody asked her.
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Be warned Dave has terrible wind!
#StormDave has been named and is forecast to bring damaging winds across northern parts of the UK, with some disruptive snow possible in northwest Scotland later on Saturday and into Easter Day #WeatherAware
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Hello @realclintonb what are the spirits saying about #Scottmills and could this be the end of the @welcomebreak Scott mills bridge?
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Bloody Tudor houses, forgot to bloody duck!
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Seems all Labour MPs are as thick as pig shit.
Community note
The vehicle is exempt from MOT as it was built or first registered more than 40 years ago. Source: gov.uk/historic-vehic…
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Ash retweeted
Our founder and CEO will speaking at the @CEME_LDN "OWN YOUR FUTURE" event on Tuesday 24th March 2026. Details on the flyer shown.
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Ok people, same shit, different day. Let's do this!
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