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Joined August 2011
- Tweets 21,759
- Following 1,029
- Followers 2,038
- Likes 35,451
1,952 Photos and videos
Jun 13
I support this message.
Jun 13
Travis Pastrana and his crew just backflipped dirt bikes on the White House lawn
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Jun 9
A- I’m stuck in a time warp
Or
B- every silver Chrysler mini van ever made has passed me this morning.
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Jun 6
Gotta love this time of year. Missed the first. Made one pass. Radar refreshed and it started pouring.
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Jun 4
Got a piece of steel pipe out the weeds
Light the torch
I’m straddling it, about 1/3 of the way through my cut.
Why the hell is dad messing with the hoses while I’m cutting.
Dad-OH FUCK THERES A HUGE SNAKE BETWEEN YOUR FEET
6’ black racer wondering why his home got so hot
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May 30
I thought we’d gone too far as a society, but dude around the corner from my house is doing an in frame on a kw t800 in his yard.
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May 30
Mexican.
Taco pizza
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May 23
Hot take
9 valedictorians takes all the honor away from the title.
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May 23
Got a cool pizza place with pinball machines upstairs.
My dad-
Last time I played pinball, we rode our bikes to the bowling alley, smoked cigarettes and played pinball.
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May 22
Eagles
Chris Stapleton
Aaron Lewis
Tim McGraw
Old crow medicine show
Nelly
Lynyrd skynyrd
Godsmack
Charlie Daniels
Eric Church
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“can i start you off with an appetizer, maybe 30 tortillas?”
“god no, i can’t eat that many tortillas!”
“how about if cut them up into triangles, fry them in seed oil, & serve them with some salsa?”
“omg that sounds delightful”.
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Sam Kimbell retweeted
May 17
Since Mike Johnson says members of Congress don't make enough money with just their salaries, may I suggest:
- Dialing back on those streaming subscriptions
- Reducing your cell phone plan
- Taking public transportation
- Eating cheaper cuts of meat
- Eating in more often
- Turning off the lights when you're not in the room
- Getting a part-time job at Walmart
- Growing a f-cking spine and stop whining
Signed,
Everyone trying to eke out a living in your shitty economy
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May 18
US government strikes again.
Suzuki Jimny. $18,000 around the world, but doesn’t meet epa regulations
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May 14
Politicians-
If you spam text me, it’s deleted and reported to Apple/AT&T
Thanks.
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Sam Kimbell retweeted
May 11
y'all aren't getting $6 margs at Chili's and it shows.
May 11
The average cost of a date for a millennial is now $252 👀
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