@SamePlot profile picture
Theo @SamePlot

I write about the things we all pretend not to notice.

Joined April 2026
  • Tweets 4,984
  • Following 450
  • Followers 527
54 Photos and videos
nobody cleans their house like they clean it before guests arrive.
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 12
you want me to believe hard work pays off when the hardest working people are the most underpaid 😭
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 12
there was an era we used to wait for our favourite song to come on the radio 😭
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 12
we can send people to mars but i still have to blindly search for my keys at the bottom of a bag???
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 12
why the fuck don't socks come with extra singles for the ones that disappear
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 12
did FIFA look at American sports saw the ad breaks between quarters and said we need that but make it sound like we care 😭
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 11
she texts me the night before anything significant. not on the day. the night before. she knows that's when the fear actually arrives. 😭
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 11
she didn't check on me the day it happened. she checked on me three weeks later. when everyone else had already moved on. that's the one I remember. 😭
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 11
no matter how desperate you are, don't ever let someone make you feel lucky just for being chosen
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 11
😡 X just ruined the one thing we all used 50 times a day. They swapped **Copy Link** and **Send via Chat** in the share menu. Now every time I go to copy a post I accidentally open the DM screen instead. Muscle memory = destroyed. Who approved this?? Bring back the old order!! Who else keeps misclicking? 😭 #XUpdate #TwitterSucks
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Theo retweeted
Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 8
Replying to @PopBase
Imagine asking a store owner if he has GOOD NUT 😭
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 9
i've been the love of someone's life. past tense.
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 8
why the fuck don't elevators have a cancel button when you press the wrong floor
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 8
same effort. same prayer. same sacrifice. different results. and nobody can explain why.
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 8
i need a hobby that makes me interesting but requires zero consistency
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 8
mondays should be 2 hours max. do whatever you need to do and get tf out.
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 7
you're telling me I said sorry, gave space, checked in, showed up and still lost the friendship?
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 7
people, I drank 3 litres of water today. you weren't lying 😭
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 7
wait, when they train bomb-sniffing dogs what do they use to teach them?
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Theo
@SamePlot
Jun 7
met someone who just says "no" without giving a reason. I didn't even know you could do that
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