THE BEST LEADERS DON’T ASK FOR “BUY-IN”. THEY DO THIS INSTEAD:
“Coaches use this word ‘buy-in’ all the time. And I’ll let you in on a little secret. It’s actually not a secret if you've watched anything I’ve ever put out before. I don't like the phrase ‘buy-in’.
I don't like the word. I don't like the idea. It’s not something I’m interested in. I think the coaching profession and teams would be better off if coaches simply stopped asking for buy-in.
But because I know that's not going to happen on anything besides a very small scale with a few select coaches and they're going to talk about and use the phrase ‘buy-in’, then we want to at least try to do it as best as we possibly can. But between you and me — don't even use the word. Don't use the word.
Don't ask for buy-in. Don't demand buy-in. Focus entirely on that second point (“Create something worth buying into”) and do your best to not use the phrase.
First, don't use the phrase because so many other places and so many other people and so many other coaches
do and people are tired of it. So, I think the responsibility is on us if we're going to use a phrase then we need to know how that phrase is going to be seen, heard, and perceived. And when people get tired of being told to buy in and asked to buy in and begged to buy in and pleaded to buy in and preached to buy in, they turn it off and they tune it out.
So, I think even using the phrase runs that risk. That's #1.
#2 is: Rather than ask for it, rather than demand it, rather than even use the phrase, just focus on your action and go earn buy-in by doing great work. Go earn buy-in without having to ask, without having to demand, without having to beg, without having to plead, without having to preach. Go deliver an experience where people do it naturally. Go set standards that are hard to achieve and help people meet them.
Go figure out what's important to other people and make it important to you in a way that they recognize. Go point people in a direction that takes them where they want to go and also serves your team.
Buy-in will happen when you (1) build great relationships, (2) you point people towards goals that they're interested in, (2) you call out the best version of themselves, and (4) you help them belong to something that they're interested in belonging to.
You don't need to use the word buy-in to create that. You just have to go out do the work. And you have to be good enough to earn the buy-in you want.”