Joined January 2015
- Tweets 17,254
- Following 3,315
- Followers 13,225
- Likes 92,829
2,230 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
15 Oct 2025
Me and @yelhsaashton have started a podcast! Each week, either me, Ashley or a guest pitches an idea for a pod and we record a test episode to see if the idea is any good. Available all the usual places!
15 Oct 2025
Clip from our first episode: "Podcast Heaven & Hell". Can you invent a sweetie? 🤔
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'Scottish fans are stressed out their nut. Show Rod Stewart again.'
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I've always said it, Scotland are at their most dangerous after HBO (hydration break one)
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'It's 5 o'clock somewhere' I say at 9.07am, changing myself to Appear Offline on Teams
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Guys I know we're all excited for the football but just remember you need a TV licence ok
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DIANE: there's a group of sweaty Scottish soccer fans in the pool room, and one of them is asking to see the "wee nippy sweetie"
CARLA: oh yeah? Which one? I've got my eye on a bald guy wearing a strip that's too tight for him
DIANE: I wish I could say that narrows it down
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NORM: Diane saying she thinks Scott McTominay is more handsome than Sam, it's not good for his ego
CLIFF: I, uh, concur with your assessment. It's not healthy to base your identity on 1 feature. Sammy relies on his looks, while we rely on our intellects, in addition to our looks
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WOODY: those Scottish guys have asked for a round of Venoms
SAM: careful Woody, we don't want people puking on the ceiling
WOODY: don't worry, Sam, the recipe says it's a green drink and look, the first ingredient is orange juice. Must be some kinda smoothie or something
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Ross Sayers retweeted
Jun 12
This is barbaric. They were not permitted to explain to the jury why they carried out the attack on the Elbit factory - which makes the weapons that kill Palestinian children. And the jury was never told they would be sentenced as terrorists. /1
Jun 12
🚨 BREAKING: Four Palestine Action activists have been jailed for a total of 22 years for causing £1.2m worth of damage and fracturing a police woman's spine at an Israeli weapons factory
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Jun 11
Supermarket managers after they put pizzas and 4 pack glass bottles of Coke in a fridge and call it the World Cup section
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Jun 4
'He said he's drinking a beer from every World Cup country. What do you mean you don't have any Ecuadorian lager?'
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May 31
The world cup is about to begin, these players should be in America, not Bridge of Allan. Shocking this needs to be said
Senegalese players try to make sense of how the ball bounces on the pitch at BOFA.
Community note
The dead ball bounce is due to newly laid grass installed for this USMNT friendly match; Bank of America Stadium is not a 2026 World Cup venue. x.com/Topbin90/statu… fifa.com/en/tournaments…
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How is this not the headline in every major news outlet?
May 22
BREAKING: Flotilla activists report rape and torture after Israeli abduction at sea
🔴 LIVE updates: aje.news/io46ga?update=45941…
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May 22
RT @goodbyeleninxcx: New ECHR rules say that it is discrimination to accuse someone who "manifests the belief that same sex sexual activity…
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May 19
This is how all Scottish men speak after 2 pints, except replace 'god' with 'Prison Break season 1'
May 19
How good is god man
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Ross Sayers retweeted
Apr 24
My friend's wife has been diagnosed with glioblastoma.
She has been approved for specialist treatment in Germany, which would offer her the chance to see her boys grow up.
Please do me a favour and share this. Any donations are massively appreciated.
justgiving.com/page/kimberle…
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Ross Sayers retweeted
Apr 23
“I received direct threats targeting me on my phone from the Mossad, from the Israelis, and they threatened to kill me.”
Lebanese journalist Amal Khalil speaking before she was killed by Israel.
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Ross Sayers retweeted
A community fun run under threat from a small bunch of abusive bullies with too much money and time on their hands.
And to what end? This doesn’t protect women and girls. The only aim is to push trans people out of public life.
Parkrun and other sporting bodies face legal action because they're trans inclusive thepinknews.com/2026/04/23/p…
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