I used to be slightly funny in 2015-2016.
Joined April 2012
- Tweets 2,354
- Following 220
- Followers 53
- Likes 8,121
27 Photos and videos
Daniel retweeted
20 Feb 2025
30 years ago they made a movie with all Rizzlers
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Daniel retweeted
27 Jun 2024
I’ll be watching hours of this if u need to find me
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Daniel retweeted
13 Jan 2024
I tried speaking softly and carrying a big stick but a group of teenagers started laughing at me and said “Homie compensating for something ☠️” and they couldn’t even hear my come back
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22 Nov 2023
You think black cats understand English & are like “oh you named me Shadow, how original”?
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Daniel retweeted
12 May 2023
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16 Nov 2023
Ruffles are $6 now, so I got “Ripples” instead. Should have just spent the six bucks.
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16 Oct 2023
Flintstones Vitamins are somehow the most delicious substance ever created & absolutely gross all at the same time.
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13 Oct 2023
Bloody Mary is scarier than Candyman because Bloody Mary is real & Candyman is just a movie.
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10 Oct 2023
Cops: “anything you say can and will be used against you…”
…are cops my relatives?
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21 Sep 2023
American politics may be a little outrageous these days, but at least we’ve never put a guy on the Jedi Council without granting him the title of Master.
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16 Sep 2023
women will literally go on a farmer themed reality dating show and ask the farmer if he could ever leave the farm instead of going to therapy.
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13 Sep 2023
Me: Thinks my comic book collection is pretty cool.
Mexican Government: Brings out alien bodies in cool filing cabinets. 
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10 Sep 2023
real estate an property management in america is wild because it’s like everyone you know has to be miserable so some guy named troy can have a bunch of money.
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10 Sep 2023
I’m at the age where you don’t want to go to any event that involves porta-potties.
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Daniel retweeted
2 Sep 2023
Imagine thinking wrestling isn't the greatest art form in existence #EFFYBGB7
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29 Aug 2023
In my life I have met three people who have been on the Jerry Springer show. Not sure if that’s a lot for a lifetime or a relatively small amount.
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