Better living through denial

Joined August 2012
1,686 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
11 Jul 2020
I just want a better life than my kids
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31 Dec 2024
LOL @ people in Connecticut
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31 Dec 2024
Nominations to assist with research for my next book, "Places to Live That Suck the Life Out of You"?
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27 Dec 2024
You never know which boner will be your last
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27 Dec 2024
Girl are you an angel cuz I don't believe in you
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27 Dec 2024
"I’m not like most women" - Most women
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27 Dec 2024
It's like some days the Spotify DJ (can you guys PLEASE offer another voice?) really gets me and some days not so much, today is pretty decent
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27 Dec 2024
I’ve literally never had a good day after someone told me to
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27 Dec 2024
"The future is today" - People who don't understand time
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27 Dec 2024
Striking out on CPAP Singles 😒
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25 Dec 2024
Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The ones who return shopping carts.
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25 Dec 2024
English people are so cute with their figgy puddings and what not
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25 Dec 2024
Somewhere out there there's a woman willing to suffer mild-to-moderate disappointment
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25 Dec 2024
I was feeling kind of ugh but then I was all like blah this is all so meh
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25 Dec 2024
Do bitches still be trippin?
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25 Dec 2024
If you display decorative holiday towels you're part of the problem
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21 Dec 2024
Girl are you Iowa cuz no one knows anything about you
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21 Dec 2024
Girl are you wedding vows cuz no one believes in you
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21 Dec 2024

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