My tattoo— Let me explain, because I have now been asked this 1000s of times. My Mom was from Skaneateles Lake. My grandparents owned and ran the Hunter Diner in Auburn, NY. Beau and I spent our summers with my grandparents on Owasco Lake. It’s my favorite place in the world. It is home to me. I tattooed the map on my back. Sorry QAnon / 4chan / Insane Twitter.

Things most Americans agree on: Groceries cost too much. Tariffs suck and make no sense. Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks. The debt is a mess. The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good. Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained. Americans are exhausted. AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you. Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF. Canadians are super fucking cool. Mexicans are chill. Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies. Good neighbors are a blessing. Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea. We all question, are we alone in the universe? We all fuck up along the way. Epstein didn’t hang himself. The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day. The Cowboys suck. Go Birds! Things we’re told to fight about: Me. Laptop. Vaccines. Transgenders in sports. Pronouns. That’s the joke.

Just one day after ending "The Late Show" on CBS, Stephen Colbert returned to TV — to host a public access show with rocker Jack White in Monroe, Michigan. Appearances by Jeff Daniels, Eminem and Steve Buscemi.

Fantastic work as usual @ByDonkeys today at the Tommy Robinson Nazi rally in London today

It’s pretty crazy that they sell extremely addictive mystery drugs at the gas station and that DHS secretary Markwayne Mullin owns a stake in the company that makes them

What happens when you post a real Monet and say it’s AI? The coolest art social experiment I’ve seen in a while. Thank you @SHL0MS

Shark Tank Billionaire Kevin O'leary says 2 people fighting data centers in Utah are Chinese agents. Turns out its just 2 local girls in Utah, they make a hilarious video calling him the fuck out

You’re either lying or you’re a racist MAGA moron if you tell me straight up that this Tony Hinchcliffe guy is legitimately funny

This is a Pulitzer level photo.

He’s right. Nothing could’ve prepared me for that

Katie Phang and Epstein survivor Danielle Bensky visit a new exhibition space in Tribeca where the Epstein files are bound in 3,237 physical volumes. “Look at the sheer volume. The fact that people are still saying there is nothing to investigate—it’s just insane. To see the person who scheduled me, who is still not behind bars—her name is here.”

Jerry Garcia, "Jerky Boys" fanatic

Trump is about to hit REM on camera during an Oval Office event. It's just incredible.

very hard to top this comedy titan but ik tim heidecker is the man to do it

You will not see a more satisfying thing all day.

This is an image of my cardiologist.

She’s not even a door dash driver, she’s a paid actor for Trump’s Propaganda machine.

Coming soon = David Byrne interview OUT NOW! Watch here  youtu.be/qLBXPlgKxNg  Doot doo ! @XLRECORDINGS

Chris Farley catching strays for some reason.