Yeaaah... Yeeeeaaaaah...
This feeling of wanting to apologize for my own existence honestly hits me worse when I'm in a less-than-ideal mind space (thanks hormones). My self-doubt demons get louder harder to ignore, and I start feeling like I'm not ACTUALLY a part of my percieved friend groups, just somebody skulking about the outskirts despite my best efforts...
Always the host but never the guest, my presence is only tolerated instead of enjoyed, folks know OF me but are too busy TO know me.
Obviously, consciously, I KNOW this isn't the case, but it gets VERY difficult to mentally argue against the demons when it starts feeling like if I were to graduate, give up content creation, and disappear from the internet outside of my personal social media accounts, nobody would even notice.
Maybe it's the rain, maybe it's the aforementioned hormones, but I'm feeling a little more pensive today, I guess.