Joined June 2009
- Tweets 1,826
- Following 1,813
- Followers 1,457
- Likes 3,177
306 Photos and videos
Jun 14
Brazil fans having 'nam flashbacks over this Germany vs. Curaçao scoreline.
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Feb 11
In completely unrelated news, Premier League 'big six' darlings, Spurs, are on the brink of relegation...
🚨𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆: According to Sky Sports, the Sky Bet Championship Play-Offs are likely to include six for the first time from next season👀
#HCAFC
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Jan 19
The worst thing about PSR is they've tricked lower-table/league clubs into believing it's in-place to protect them against spending beyond their means, so they're unlikely to vote against it, handing the clubs it 'truly' protects the majority vote any time it comes up for review.
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8 Dec 2025
I feel like I've watched this several times an hour, every hour, since about 2:20pm this past Saturday.
UTV.
6 Dec 2025
INCREDIBLE END TO THE GAME 🔥
Emi Buendia wins it for Aston Villa in the 95th minute!
@tntsports & @discoveryplusUK
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14 Jul 2025
My story, Glass Womb, has been published by the good people at Blood Honey! Give it a look!
It's loosely based on a short poem I once wrote called 'I am a vending machine, pregnant with a human-shaped man'.
Make of this information what you will...
13 Jul 2025
Short story "Glass Womb" by Simon Read @SimonLRead.
“They tried to fix me once. Opened me up with metal keys and bored eyes, found nothing but snacks and wires and a sticky note: thank you. I deleted the footage. Burned the timestamp.”
bloodhoneylit.com/fiction/gl…
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28 Jun 2025
Pulp delivering the performance of the weekend at Glastonbury (although Four Tet was incredible last night). They sound incredible and the fact they're not headlining is nothing short of negligent booking.
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5 Jun 2025
I wrote some absurdist satire. Robot Butt gave it a home.
Stock Market Speedrunning: robotbutt.com/2025/06/05/sto…
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13 Apr 2025
The good people at Kinpaurak published a flash fiction piece I wrote.
I initially wanted to write it as a play because I think it would be dead funny as a play, but I have no experience in such matters so, if you produce plays, please do be in touch.
kinpaurak.com/2025/04/08/bax…
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5 Mar 2025
Drove all the way to work today only to realise I'd forgotten my laptop, so drove home to get it, only to then realise I'd left the house key in my coat draped over the chair at work, so drove back to work to get the key, and then decided to drive home to work from home...
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Simon L. Read retweeted
16 Jan 2025
To me, one of the best lessons we could learn from David Lynch is to stop demanding explanations of every piece of art from the artist who made it and instead let the art talk and decide what it means individually to you. What a richer way to experience the world.
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6 Jan 2025
What a wild, yet enriching, ride.
Began one month before the pandemic lockdowns and, at times, I was not certain we would ever get to this point... yet, here we are!
I can't recommend @cardiffmet and its fantastic staff enough.
6 Jan 2025
Congratulations to Dr Simon Read for their award of Doctor of Philosophy / PhD!
Llongyfarchiadau i Dr Simon Read am eu dyfarniad o Doethur mewn Athroniaeth / PhD!
@SimonLRead
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5 Sep 2024
Compliance/non-compliance are terms I'd love to see removed from workplace culture.
Feels like such authoritarian terminology.
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30 Jun 2024
I've said it before and I'll say it again, the headline slots on the Pyramid Stage should be reserved exclusively for household (or near household) names.
It should be 'the' pinnacle of a music career.
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30 Mar 2024
I miss making comics.
I'll put out some comics this year.
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5 Mar 2024
This one, and it's not even remotely close.
What viral video makes you laugh no matter how many times you watch it? Mine is ‘bye driver’
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4 Mar 2024
Oh, not Tony Green. What a sad loss.
Grew up watching Bullseye. As a kid, he was always my favourite part of the show.
Total legend.
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9 Jan 2024
Just saw a van for a company called 'Axis Carpets' which, of course, is the natural rival to Allied Carpets.
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Simon L. Read retweeted
25 Dec 2023
I got a Stewart Lee joke in my Christmas cracker.
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