Freelance writer/Prosetitute. Sé/é/air/aige/leis/chuige/roimhe/as/dó/de/faoi/ann/uaidh/tríd/thairis/uime
Joined February 2009
- Tweets 56,105
- Following 811
- Followers 1,351
- Likes 33,262
1,235 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
5 Dec 2021
One was given to Monica, in his life.
One was given to Erica, by his side.
One was given to Sandra, in the sun.
One was given to Mary, all night long.
But they were all of them deceived. Deep in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Lou Bega forged a master mambo, Mambo No. 5
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26 Jul 2024
If I were Manu Macron, Président de la France, and I were hosting the olympics, I would simply call Knights of the Empire, Daft Punk, out of retirement for one last job…
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16 May 2024
“How do you plead?”
“Extremely guilty, but even more extremely wealthy, your honour.”
*Gavel bangs*
“Case dismissed.”
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᚛ᚋᚐᚏᚉ ᚋᚐᚉ ᚐᚅ ᚈᚄᚐᚌᚐᚔᚏᚈ᚜ retweeted
16 Apr 2024
Just used alcohol at the worst time, when I was the sole legal guardian of six Pokémon, who I will now divulge
Charmeleon
Metapod
Skitty
Poliwag
Taillow
Egg
I used alcohol while these 6 relied on me in Viridian Forest. I got blackout drunk in Viridian Forest. Say their names
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26 Jan 2024
I wonder if this lad has to put down his massive mug of unadulterated brain poison to post this stuff
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20 Jan 2024
In France they don’t call him “Pitbull,” they call “Monsieur Globale”
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2 Jan 2024
Cannot believe Mozart’s late-career shift into chocolate/marzipan. Gotta respect that kind of hustle.
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2 Dec 2023
Say what you will about the Borg, they get free healthcare, homelessness is zero, none of them seem to be depressed…
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5 Aug 2023
In my first book of literary theory, i put forward the idea that Barthes didn’t go far enough.
You can buy “Death to the Author” later this month
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28 Jul 2023
Dr, draping stethoscope around neck: Well, Michael-
Me: Mickey's alright.
Dr: Mickey, there's no other way to say this... you're- apart from the hickies, you're fine. In fact, you're so fine, it's having a deleterious effect on my mental health
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24 Jul 2023
*On the bridge, klaxons blaring, sparks showering from the consoles, scorched crewmen slumped unconscious*
MUSK: Damage report?!
HELM: Multiple critical systems failing, main feed unresponsive— We’re coasting on raw brand recognition, sir.
MUSK, stroking his chin: What if…?
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24 Jul 2023
Can we please refer to “verified” accounts as “X-positive”?
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20 Jul 2023
Should anyone be bailing out of this nightmare, I am also on BlueSky (provided I’m not part of why you’re fleeing)
bsky.app/profile/sirjolt.bsk…
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᚛ᚋᚐᚏᚉ ᚋᚐᚉ ᚐᚅ ᚈᚄᚐᚌᚐᚔᚏᚈ᚜ retweeted
13 Jul 2023
“slurp slurp. interlinked. yes yes yes ice cream so good. interlinked. thank you lopez. interlinked. gang gang. interlinked. slay haha. interlinked.”
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14 Jul 2023
This woman is playing the world's hardest game of BopIt and it terrifies me...
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5 Jul 2023
RTE’s three hidden accounts being named Active, Astus, and Miroma makes it sound like they were running the Weapon X programme.
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30 Jun 2023
I don’t know the difference between a Jack Ryan and a Jack Reacher and I refuse to learn
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