Joined December 2020
- Tweets 11,711
- Following 1,483
- Followers 1,858
- Likes 35,592
1,630 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
24 Jul 2025
You can’t make everyone happy, you’re not a lasagna.
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They always say "live, laugh, love," but they never mention the "bleach, scrub, repeat" part. I'm outside, bring the heavy-duty bags.
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I hate when people leave their projects half-finished. Grab some gloves and meet me in the garage, we're finishing this today.
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Please tell me I’m not the only one who eats popcorn one single piece at a time. The handful method is just too stressful.
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My birthday was weeks ago, but we celebrated today, and they gifted me liquor despite knowing damn well my alarm goes off in a few hours. I love that my inner circle doesn't just want me to fail, they want to provide the tools for the downfall.
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My patients in psych made this.
The plant was informed of its new duties and responded appropriately.
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Slappy retweeted
Jun 12
the prettiest girl you know will be in a situationship with a gremlin
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Slappy retweeted
Jun 13
All I smell is cheap perfume and gin, and smoke, and lies
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Slappy retweeted
Jun 13
the older i get the heller the no
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Slappy retweeted
Jun 13
i build walls so high even i can't get inside
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Slappy retweeted
Jun 13
Sometimes that one "hey" ends up costing you two years of peace. Just ignore it
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