Things I don't say to my co-worker

Joined November 2009
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You're going to have to provide a little but more than "x is broken" if you want me to fix that.
You can't rush genius. It's done when it's done.
Don't bring me your proposed solution. Bring me your problem and I'll solve it for you, but better.
Really? You need a comment to explain that?
When you say "proprietary" what I hear is "code so ugly I won't let you see it."
It's not my fault you're too stupid too see the elegance of my solution.
No, I will not code down to your standards.