Rather than this being unironic, this reads more like she will pretend this is happening because she is evil and will lie to you about her trauma to get you to like her even as she’s abusing you like a fucked-up Stockholm syndrome.
Tappei in an old Q&A
Q : For some reason, I can't help but find Capella-chan incredibly cute! Her words and actions just seem so attractive to me! So, if I...
Tappei : Share her values, love her, and help her overcome the deepest trauma she carries. Do that, and she will be yours...