Dating industry consultant dating & relationship coach @Dateworking. Steward of social and technological ecologies. Host of 12hr friendship hikes.

Joined May 2009
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After 15 years of online dating — as a power user, coach, consultant, matchmaker, product designer, whistleblower, and event/podcast/show host — I've spent this year writing up my key tips, takeaways, and rants. Enjoy: How to Navigate Dating in 2025 stevedean.substack.com/p/how…

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After 15 years of online dating — as a power user, coach, consultant, matchmaker, product designer, whistleblower, and event/podcast/show host — I've spent this year writing up my key tips, takeaways, and rants. Enjoy: How to Navigate Dating in 2025 stevedean.substack.com/p/how…

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Dating App Profile Text — Everything You Need to Know stevedean.substack.com/p/dat… Dating App Messaging — Everything You Need to Know stevedean.substack.com/p/dat… Dating App Photos — Everything You Need to Know stevedean.substack.com/p/dat…

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Why You're Not Getting Matches on Dating Apps stevedean.substack.com/p/rea… What Dating Apps Should Do Differently stevedean.substack.com/p/wha… Dating in the Age of AI stevedean.substack.com/p/dat…

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I’ve now seen over 500,000 dating profiles across over 300 different dating apps. Every day I see the same mistakes from both clients and friends. Here are my best tips and practical considerations: open.substack.com/pub/steved…

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Steve Dean retweeted

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it's happening now!
.@StevenMDean is hosting a Reddit AMA at 3 p.m., answering your questions about dating! 🔗Checkout the AMA: wapo.st/4gQOySP 🔗See our comic about Steve: wapo.st/4dtbgxv
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Steve Dean retweeted
.@StevenMDean is online dating consultant. See his unexpected advice in this comic by Beatrix Lockwood and Maya Scarpa (@mayabluecheck) 🎨: wapo.st/3TpgGmf
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Dating App Photos — Everything You Need to Know open.substack.com/pub/steved…

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Remember, every relevant compatibility metric that we fail to include upfront means that either a) someone won’t feel confident enough that we’re a good fit, and will skip right over us,
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or b) we’ll be stuck trying to exasperatedly suss out compatibility downstream — in our messages and on our dates — precisely when it’s the most tedious, frustrating, and costly.
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Steve Dean retweeted
The secret to a great dating profile might not be what you think. The latest comic by Beatrix Lockwood and Maya Scarpa (@mayabluecheck) features @StevenMDean, an online dating consultant 🎨: wapo.st/3MJlNK0
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Steve Dean retweeted
What @StevenMDean, an online dating consultant has learned about love. The latest comic by Beatrix Lockwood and Maya Scarpa (@mayabluecheck) 🎨: wapo.st/4e0LZvG
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My response to a friend's question, "How do I share my more selfish or sexual intentions with someone, especially if I fear the other person wouldn’t share them?" stevedean.substack.com/p/adv…

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Steve Dean retweeted
My life's mission summed up well: "At critical moments in time, you can raise the aspirations of other people significantly, especially when they are relatively young, simply by suggesting they do something better or more ambitious than what they might have in mind."
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In dating, when y'all say "just put yourself out there"... Which 'selves' do you personally prioritize? Which ones do you omit? Which ones am I missing?
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Quantified self — my location history, personality inventories (MBTI, Big 5, Enneagram, etc.), blood type, medical diagnoses, criminal history, dental records, astrological signs, sleeping habits, credit score, follower counts, etc.
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Existential self — all the versions of me that may or may not exist, or ever have existed. If someone uploads my consciousness to the cloud, which one is the real me? If I schedule tweets to get published for years after I die, do they still count as mine?
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