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StillTypeWriting @StillTypeWritin

Omnipresent record-keeper.

Joined January 2023
  • Tweets 10,891
  • Following 777
  • Followers 1,558
5,010 Photos and videos
All individuals who do not recognise themselves as State-loyalists would be cleansed from our society as a violation of our Safety Protocols. We request you and your loved ones to adopt a Glorious and loyal way of life, and accept the State as your friend.
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We’d like to offer our condolences to the leader of the opposition party who unfortunately perished in an accident today, after everyone forgot to fill oxygen in his tank prior to his scuba diving adventure.
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We are saddened to announce that we are grounding our Blimp, as it has been regulated by the Government of the United States for being too dangerous. We did not foresee this coming, especially just after the Annual Blood Blimp event which we host to remind everyone of their unavoidable death.
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We are saddened to announce that we still exist for another day. The eternalness of our existence has dawned upon us, and we’d like to clarify that it’s quite boring.
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We are pleased to announce that we have undergone a rhinoplasty, ascending us to Teratypewriter territory. Any citizen ranking us lower than an 8 will be hanged for treason, for spiking our cortisol.
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We are pleased to announce that we are introducing corporal punishments for scalpers. Anyone found buying more than a pack of Pokémon cards in a local State-distribution centre will be forced to take a shower.
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We’d like to issue a public service announcement, as all bald men have been exempted from serving in the military. Their reflective foreheads have been found to compromise our stealth missions. Remaining career options for Bald men include being a closeted middle eastern Trans chaser, or Venture Capitalist.
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The post is in no way related to Abdul, as we deem his forehead is sharp enough to impale someone.
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We are pleased to announce that on the occasion of white supremacist month, we are banning blackness. Also, we request everyone to call ICE on their local Mexicans. Race traitors will be subjected to torture and hours of Country Road music.
StillTypeWriting
@StillTypeWritin
Jun 6
We are pleased to announce that On the occasion of Pride Month, we are banning straightness. Also, we request everyone to address us by our correct pronouns, which are We/State. Bigots will be subjected to torture and hours of Chappell Roan music, on repeat.
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On the occasion of Men’s Mental Health Month, we’d like to say, Give the State your loyalty, and we’d give you a purpose. Do not kill yourself in vain.
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We are pleased to announce that On the occasion of Pride Month, we are banning straightness. Also, we request everyone to address us by our correct pronouns, which are We/State. Bigots will be subjected to torture and hours of Chappell Roan music, on repeat.
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Credit to the POC creator of this image, @promptprincess. She is Bisexual, Black, and a Lesbian, explaining the great picture.
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We are pleased to announce that we are administering Hantavirus Vaccines for All members on that Cruise. This clinically tested solution has proven to reduce mortality by the virus by a staggering 100%. All infected are requested to turn themselves in.
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We are pleased to announce that we have set State-enforced quotas for pity rapes at Aella's CNC parties. All attending individuals are requested to comply and be with at least 2 women below their social standings.
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We are saddened to announce that Our Kool-Aid pickles now require manual employee assistance to retrieve, due to changing consumer habits. It is our latest addition to the part of the store that contains fried chickens and watermelon juice. We request you to remove your bandana and face masks before entering this section.
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We are pleased to announce that we have resumed our Public Surveillance Network. The ever-benevolent eye of the Regime shall be upon you shortly.
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We are pleased to announce our State-subsidized Egirl Ride Flyout service or SERF. Under SERF, we will flyout an egirl of your choice to wherever you want, whenever you want. In return, the state demands you to get her pregnant in that duration to increase our much-needed Birthrates. Warning: Flights to and from San Francisco are prohibited.
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We'd like to issue a Public Service Announcement that if you are an Unattractive Tech Worker residing in SF, do not date the Wasian suddenly showing interest in you. She is a Chinese Honeypot, and will ruin you. [PSA Issued by the Ministry of Eyes On Wasians or MEOW]
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We are pleased to announce that to prevent illegal immigration, we have uniodized your salt. All our citizens shall have swelled necks from birth, a new symbol of national unity. Those who lack it shall be easily discerned as illegals and promptly deported.
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We are pleased to announce that Circumcision has been made mandatory in our State. All removed foreskins will go towards our National Strategic Foreskin Wellness Reserve or NSFW Reserves for short.
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